letter to Jesse James

You Stupid, Moronic Bastard! You cheated on Sandra Bullock?
How in the world can you be so stupid? You are married to one of the most beautiful women in the world; she has a body to die for; and her current wealth and predicted wealth is shadowed only by Oprah, who even Steadman will tell you isn't attractive.
But your wife, who recently beat out Julia Roberts in the polls and is now the named "America's Sweetheart" (you also remember she just won an Oscar -- which translates into more money per picture that she’ll make in the future) ... While you, you dumb biker, were shacking with that tattooed freak, who just happens to be a former stripper and is someone's mommy.
You are really a piece of work! You are the most hated asshole and cheater on the planet! And while the State of California is a no-fault, community property state, whereby you may be able to take half of your wife's wealth, in doing so you would only be hated even more ... Especially after Sandra’s speech during the Oscars in which she did nothing but publicly praise and worship you. How can you live with yourself after she even cared for your children?
I only have one thing to say to a despicable, miserable, cheating piece of crap that you are:
Thank You, thank you, thank you! You really helped take the heat off of me. Let’s do lunch sometime and compare notes.
~ Tiger Woods