Not just any cat...

I really thank all of you for the support and sympathy.

I have spurts of anxiety and depression, like when I woke this morning.
Her sister squeaky just stares out the window to her spot under the tree and waits by the doors for her to come back. I did show her peeky before putting her in the ground but squeak did not sniff and confirm...so shes still looking for her sister which makes it hard.
When I saw others post about their pets and losing them, to be honest..it scared me and I avoided replying due to the fact I couldn't imagine how hard it would be and didn't even wanna go there. I must say to all of you who have lost their pets that I am truly sorry for your loss and can relate fully at this point.

I'm not really into drinking beer now, I feel guilty if I'm not fixated on peek for some reason. Though it was highly recommended by the er veterinarian , I regret putting her down but at the same time she was done and failing fast with very low calcium which made her tremor every 10-15 minutes for the last 5 hrs that I held her at the vet, I could have held her till I dropped myself.

The more I read about her symptoms on the net, the more I'm pointed towards FIP as a more likely cause. A year ago or so she had a lil crinkle air pocket on her head but when the vet said it was nothing and just some trauma...we didn't think anything and in time it went away...I wish we did blood work back then instead of listening to the vet.
This morning was tough....no peeky jumping up on the bathroom sink for water, no skwaking to go outside, no peeky.....

We really wanna thank you all so much for giving us support at this time.