Help me deliver a message to Al Gore

Dear Friends,

Today I was having lunch in town at one of my favorite watering holes. A gentleman sitting next to me at the bar knowing my involvement with the Energy Sector asked me bluntly: ?Luis, can you explain to me this Cap and Trade deal in layman?s terms? I said that I would gladly do so. It is very simple ?I said-

You see; Imagine that the government decides ?arbitrarily, without any scientific backing or empirical available data- that farting is bad for the environment and contributes to global warming. It would be ideal if they could forbid people from farting altogether. Although some environmental activist propose it, fortunately level heads prevail and they come up with an arbitrary compromised regulation that limits the amount every single inhabitant can fart to only 20 times per day. Silly you would say? Not so fast Alpo breath! This is what cap and trade is all about! 20 ******* farts a day:

THIS IS CAP if you fart more than 20 times a day you will be heavily fined.

Now, let us say that there are small ?or little- people that because their size and or diet only fart 5 or 6 times a day. On the other hand; there are big ?or large- people that because their size and or diet fart 50 times a day. The little people apparently are in no immediate danger, -I said apparently- but the big people will be in a bind. You see, they are farting 30 more farts a day than the government allows. In order to avoid the heavy fines by the government which would be unaffordable they can only cut back on their diet ?which will affect the food chain all the way down including the little farts- hoping they could cut back on their farting! This would have a terrible effect in the local, national and world economy ?jobs will be lost etc.- with no guarantee that they could really cut down their farting. What is there to do?

This is the brilliant part of the deal! Here come the government to the rescue ?to rescue us from a problem they created-

Let us TRADE they say? yes let us TRADE in FART CREDITS!

What are FART CREDITS? You ask!

Well, in order to be able to trade, the government comes up with ?you guessed it- a new regulation: If you only fart 5 times a day you get a 15 fart per day credit. You can sell these credits to the big farts for? yes, you guessed it again, MONEY. So if you have the MONEY you can buy as many fart credits you can afford and fart your merrily way all you want. The little people are happy because money will be re-distributed from the big farts to them and the big farts will also be happy because they can continue to fart as much as they can. Beautiful, isn?t it? What is wrong with this picture? We are trading farts!!! For heaven?s sake! We will be trading fart credits, intangible farts? just as if they were assets or futures or stock or bonds! The cost of everything produced by the big farts will go up and it will be passed on to the consumers. Farting was relatively cheap before the regulation, now they have to pay to continue to fart as much as before. Brilliant idea! Never you mind that the total amount of farts remains the same and the cost of everything goes up.

But? wait a minute? the government can?t let these people trade unregulated. Can you imagine the abuses, the greed etc, so what do they do?

Here comes the big kicker; a Chicago Fart Exchange is created where you can trade these Fart Credits under the vigilant eye of the government, of course this is where the big money is going to be made by people that have invested heavily in the setting up of this Exchange and are ready to trade just like the big boys in Wall Street. I don?t have to mention their names, you all know who they are and what their motives are. The Cap and Trade hoax is completely tied to the Global warming hoax and it could not exist without it.


It all makes sense now. Right!?

HAPPY FARTING!