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When I heard that Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson were guest preachers at a nearby church, I decided to go there and check them out in person. As soon as I sat down, Reverend Sharpton came over to me. I don't know why, maybe it was because I was the only white person in the church. He laid...

You might be an A-body owner if... You like all Chryslers but are treated like a red-headed stepchild at Mopar shows by the E & B-body guys. You knew that the E & B-bodies were more valuable and chose to build an A-body because you thought it'd be cheaper. Then (when finished) you realized...

I thought of everything before pulling that bank job. I covered my face. I even covered myself completely so I wouldn't leave any trace I was ever there. I picked the fastest getaway car I could find. How did they track me down?

I think the tires are defective on that Hellcat you let me test drive.

You asked if I'd take you to the track hon. - Now get off my back!

KID ON BIKE: "I hope I was adopted."

1975: "Oh well, It's not like this thing will ever be worth anything some day..."

I told them Dodge boys I'd run any of their cars for pinks. I think that slant must've cheated. Weird thing is they refused to take my car when it was over...

HUSBAND: "Hon, you were right about that SIGH-O-NIDE stuff shining up the chrome on Christine but are you sure it's safe for the pots & pans?" WIFE: "Don't worry about it dear. Did you get that new insurance policy I asked you to buy?"

I took my van to the strip the other day. - Lost first round. Everybody told me I coulda won if I'd just done a hole shot. Doesn't make sense to me but here goes...

License & registration? LICENSE AND REGISTRATION! I'm tellin' you man, I was just sitting here minding my own business and wishing I had me a Caddy to impress the ladies when SHAZAM! This thing come falling out of the sky!

Reminds me of the movie Mars Attacks!

SUZIE: You three geniuses better hurry up. Mom & dad will be home soon. Boy#1: Go play with your dolls! Boy#2: You suppose he'll miss it? Boy#3: Nah, dad hardly ever drives the DeSoto anymore. SUZIE: I'm tellin'.

I don't know if this list was ever posted here before. - I robbed it from someone on the truck forum. - One of the best I've seen. You're an EXTREME Redneck When... 1. You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. 2. The Blue Book value of your truck...

I used to think of these old cannons as ineffective. No exploding warheads, limited range, and I doubted their accuracy. But after seeing the video I started remembering seeing pictures of them in a line on the battlefields. They must have mowed down everything in front of them. The multiple...

:thumblef::thumblef:

It really amazed me. I never would have thought it would have made it all the way through from front to back. I would have liked to have seen a shot through the front or rear suspensions instead of through the door.

Pretty cool! The home made costumes are often the best. No two are alike. I think it helps to stir the imaginations of the children when they see what can be made with a lot of household items. It usually is a sign that the parents take a lot of interest in their kids too. We try to...

I came across this on FBBO. Somebody had posted the link. It's not so much a joke, but it's sort of cool to see (in slow motion) what a 12 pound cannonball does to a Saturn. The portion where they shoot the Saturn begins at about 1:40 into the video. http://youtu.be/SKowzoEsdp4

I found it. Now THAT ONE is classic!!! Hitler finds out his Hemi 'Cuda is a fake... - YouTube

Drive Recklessly - YouTube

Just another day in my world....

Found it. http://www.garlits.com/tshirts.htm

I wonder if you can buy them online. Florida's too far for me to drive for a shirt. I'll have to check.

I've always loved this quote.

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding. Woman: Oh, I see. Officer: Can I see your license please? Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one. Officer: Don’t have one? Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving. Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle...