Search results for query: *

I was eating breakfast with my 10-year-old Granddaughter and I asked her, "What day is tomorrow?". Without skipping a beat she said, "It's President's Day!". She's smart, so I asked her "What does President's Day mean?". I was waiting for something about Washington or Lincoln...

Maybe it could use one of these... The Nut Bra - YouTube

Man who slings mud loses ground.

The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurance to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy. She said "Ladies, remember that...

2 year Electronics course, 2nd year students have a communications course with a substantial amount of radio testing / trouble shooting... keeps me busy as well!

That's too funny as I've got a 1200 apart on my bench and 2 1200S's waiting for some TLC - students trash them every semester. Never thought I'd see one in this forum!

She got the numbers right!

A man is stopped by the police at midnight and asked where he’s going. “I’m on the way to a lecture about the effects of alcohol abuse on the human body.” The policeman asks, “Really? And who’s going to give a lecture at this time of night?” “My wife...."

Looks kind'a challenging...

An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese man, are hired at a Construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand. He says to the Italian guy, 'You're in charge of sweeping.' To the Scotsman he says, 'You're in charge of shoveling.' And to the Chinese guy, 'You're in charge of supplies.' He...

One for the Ladies...

He who slings mud loses ground.

A Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other, and finally they got married, and had a little sweet potato, which they called Yam.' Of course, they wanted the best for Yam. When it was time, they told her about the facts of life. They warned her about going out and getting...

An Obituary printed in the London Times - not a joke and makes you think! Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape...

Colonoscopy Journal: I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly...

A young executive was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly,"...

Dear Employees: It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of...

Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff legged and walking slowly. One of the students said to his friend: 'I'm sure the poor old man has Petry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that.' The other student...

Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest -- one...

I heard he actually died of food poisoning – too many twelve year old nuts . . .

An 80-year-old Scotsman goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, 'How do you stay in such great physical condition?' I'm Scottish and I am a golfer,' says the old guy, 'and that's why I'm in such good shape.I'm up well...

A father walks into a restaurant with his young son. He gives the young boy three nickels to play with to keep him occupied. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the nickels and starts slapping him on the back. The boy coughs up...

Yesterday I had a flat tire, so I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out of the car and opened the trunk. I took out 2 cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing oncoming traffic. They look so lifelike you wouldn't believe...

1. I prefer breasts to legs 2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist. 3. Smother the butter all over the breasts! 4. If I don't undo my trousers, I'll burst! 5. I've never seen a better spread! 6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat. 7. Are you ready...

One of the greatest secrets of life is having both patience & wisdom...

Frankly, I can't see the resemblance....

A man boards a plane with 6 kids. After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, "Are all of those kids yours?" He replies, "No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints."

A blond guy and a brunette girl were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital. He held her hand as she went through a trying birth. In the end, there were two little baby boys. The blond guy...

A guy is on a date with this girl, so he takes her to Lover's Lane. When they get up there, she says, ''I have to be honest with you, I'm a hooker.'' The guy thinks about this for a short time and says it's okay. He agrees to pay her $25 and they start having sex. After they finish, the...

The teacher was telling her students in the sex education class about human anatomy. She took her pointer and pointed to the picture of the female and said, "the female has two breasts and one ******." She then pointed to the male picture and said, "The male has one *****." Little Johnny...