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I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig. "Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears. "Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd cry. I can't...

Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and persuaded...

Subject: When Men get to be over 70 I was standing at the bar one night minding my own business. This fat ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said, "You're kind’a cute. You gotta phone number?" I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?" She said, "Yeah, I got a pen". I said, "You better...

So I'm coming home from bowling late last week and a funny thing happened, I got stuck behind some moron doing half the speed limit. I didn't get the license plate but watch out for them. Here's a few pics..

You have to see this video, one amazing car guy!! http://www.youtube.com/embed/qiLDMBDPCEY?rel=0

Retirement Dinner A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say...

Check out this staircase and try to explain how it works! Amazing Stairwell Illusion and The answer!!!..Must Watch! Full HD Version - YouTube

Ice Cream This is for all the grandparents out there. Last week, I took my grandchildren to a restaurant. My six-year-old grandson asked if he could say grace. As we bowed our heads he said, "God is good, God is great. Thank you for the food, and I...

Plans for al-Qaida attacks found encoded in skin flick 4 hrs ago When security agents investigated the contents of watch-listed traveler Maqsood Lodin's underwear (no, really), they discovered a memory card with a skin flick called "Kick ***" on it, as well as a file called "Sexy Tanja." But...

Here's one for a Chebby. Thanks Canada, Red Green is the best!!! http://videos2view.net/more-power.htm

It was entertainment night at the Senior Center . Claude the hypnotist exclaimed, " I'm here to put you into a trance. I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience." The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful, antique pocket watch from his...

www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&feature=endscreen&v=UTJlr6xVxKc

http://www.youtube.com/embed/NA-ST8nXl4U?rel=0

Her Diary: Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day. I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go...

ATD: At The Doctor's BFF: Best Friend Fainted BTW: Bring The Wheelchair BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth CBM: Covered By Medicare CUATSC: See You At The...

Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica? Where do they go? Wonder no more! It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin is quite committed to its family and will mate...

Senior wedding Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Miami , are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore.. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter...

Arthur He's played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. "That's it," he tells his wife, "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has got so bad, once I've hit the ball, I can't see where it went." His wife sympathizes. As...

We have the standard 6 ft. fence in the backyard, and a few months ago, I heard about burglaries increasing dramatically in the entire city. To make sure this never happened to me, I got an electric fence and ran a single wire along the top of the fence. Actually, I got the biggest cattle...

A young cowboy from Wyoming goes off to college. Half way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered all his money. He calls home. "Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education is developing! They actually have a program here in Laramie that will teach our dog, Ol' Blue...

Aussie Check Ride Hi Mate, I am writing to you, because I need your help to get me bloody pilot's license back. You keep telling me you got all the right contacts. Well, now's your chance to make something happen for me because, mate, I'm bloody desperate...

Two radical Arab terrorists boarded a flight out of London One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, a U.S. Marine sat down in the aisle seat. After takeoff, the Marine kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in...

Never mind, can't load pictures UGH! Bad to the Bone????? CHECK THIS OUT!!! MADE BY AN ORTHOPEDIC SURGEON. LOOK AT HIS HANDS AND FEET. THIS IS AMAZING! I STILL CAN'T FIND THE GAS TANK THOUGH… This guy has far too much money and time on his hands… How would you like...

The Christmas Dolly This is an article submitted to a 1999 Louisville Sentinel contest to find out who had the wildest Christmas dinners. It won first prize. As a joke, my brother Jay used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before Christmas. He said all he wanted was...

A cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name. 'Fred,' he replies. 'Fred what?' the officer asks. 'Just Fred,' the man responds. The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break and, write...

I was in Europe 2 years ago, with gas at 4 bucks a gallon this is what we saw. The 2nd pic is kinda neat.....

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. > The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. > She introduces...

:joker:Merry Christmas to all A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and was on the verge of being burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to change careers and become an auto mechanic. He found out from the...