10 reasons cars are better than men

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  1. Princess Valiant

    Princess Valiant Duster specialist

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    1. Your car doesn't talk back or disagree with you.

    2. Your car doesn't get jealous when you want another one.

    3. You can easily make changes to your car without resistance or disagreement.

    4. Your car won't cheat on you with other drivers it picked up randomly.

    5. Your car has an operators/ service manual so there are no misunderstandings

    6. Cars don't get fat and lazy and sit in front of the TV all day and pretend to listen to you.

    7. Turning on a car can be easy and you can make the motor stop easy when you're done with it.

    8. Letting your best friend drive and ride your car isn't weird

    9. You can easily make your car go, faster faster faster, or slower slower, slower. With a cruise control option.

    10. You can stare at cars all day and not get in trouble.
     
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    • 318willrun

      318willrun Utube channel 318willrun

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      Ouch! I couldn't get past number 1 :D
       
      Last edited: Oct 17, 2020
    • Mr. Sinister

      Mr. Sinister Devastation Manager

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      Funny Girl
      :lol:
       
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      • RustyRatRod

        RustyRatRod Bla de blizhibliz de blatde blizi bla bla FABO Gold Member

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        I see you have yet to find the right man.
         
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        • Topless69

          Topless69 Member

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          You forgot
          11. You can pick up random strangers in a bar and take them home and your car won’t think less of you.
           
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          • Car Nut

            Car Nut Mopar Master

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            And
            12. Stay clear from guys that whine more than a car with a turbo.
             
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            • krazykuda

              krazykuda Well-Known Member FABO Gold Member How-To Section Editor

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              Cats are better listeners.jpg
               
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              • krazykuda

                krazykuda Well-Known Member FABO Gold Member How-To Section Editor

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                Single Ladies.jpg
                 
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                • BobW

                  BobW Curmudgeon At Large

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                  When your car chatters you can add oil.....
                   
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                  • diymirage

                    diymirage HP@idle > hondaHP@redline

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                    #13 your car wont mind if you fire it up in the garage and then just let it idle and shut it off without taking it for a spin
                     
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                    • Dfr360cuda

                      Dfr360cuda MAGA Again

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                      Top 30 Reasons Cars Are Better Than Women.

                      1. You can look at pictures of nice cars all you want to and not feel like a pervert.

                      2. You can lust after another car and your current car won't care.

                      3. You can hang any kind of car picture in your dorm room and not get in trouble.

                      4. Women can't go 200 miles per hour.

                      5. A woman can't carry four of your friends on a road trip.

                      6. You can replace your car any time you want and not feel bad.

                      7. A car doesn't have girlfriend cars that will talk about you and tell her that you are not good for her.

                      8. You can't install sub-woofers in a woman.

                      9. You can rub and wax a car in your driveway and not get arrested.

                      10.Car's don't care if you leave them in the garage overnight.

                      11.Cars don't care if you go on a trip for three weeks and don't call them.

                      12.If you are nice enough, your friends will almost always let you borrow their car.

                      13.You can get together with friends and compare cars and not sound like pigs.

                      14.Car's don't get mad at you for no reason every 28 days.

                      15.You can have two cars at once and they won't be jealous of each other.

                      16.Cars don't have relatives that you have to be nice to.

                      17.You can always test drive a car before making a commitment.

                      18.Car's come with an owners manual.

                      19.Your car does not care if you get fat and walk around with no shirt on.

                      20.You have 100% complete control over the direction of that car at all times.

                      21.You can stare at nice cars in a parking lot and your car won't care.

                      22.You can't put a bumper sticker that says "How's my driving? Dial 1-800-EAT-S*IT!" on a woman.

                      23.Car's could not care less about commitment.

                      24.You don't mind too much if your friends always want a ride in your car.

                      25.If your car is being repaired, you can usually get a loaner car.

                      26.If you are 21, you can legally rent a car. 'Nuff said..

                      27.You can complain about how ratty your car looks and people think it's funny.

                      28.You can sell your car to a complete stranger and nobody will get mad at you.

                      29.A woman does not have keyless entry or remote ignition.

                      30.and finally.. There are 50 year old cars that still look good.

                      /////////////////////

                      I only had time for 30...
                      I gotta get started on my "honey do" list
                       
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                      • Ahoey

                        Ahoey Well-Known Member

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                        Ya got a chuckle out of that. However it sounds to me like the shoe is on the wrong foot.
                         
                      • Ahoey

                        Ahoey Well-Known Member

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                        Oh you work for Honey Dew construction also. Lots of work in this outfit no money in it though
                         
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                        • AJ/FormS

                          AJ/FormS 68 B'cuda fb, Form S clone ... 367/A833/3.55s

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                          He shouldda had a Mopar.
                          The reason a car is better than a wife;
                          When your car stops pleasing you;
                          you can beat the snot out of it, sell it, neglect it, get rid of it, put/send her away, etc,
                          But before then,
                          I can do whatever I want to, with and to, my car; just about where ever I want to do it, and as often as I like to. I never have to play the fool, and it never calls me nasty names, or runs up my credit cards.
                          Every morning;
                          I just stab the key in, kick the go-pedal a couple of times, twist it, and she roars to life. I drive the heck out of her for a while, then bring her home, park her, and put the key back in my pocket; then she waits, right where I left her, patiently, and quietly, until the next time.
                          With a lil TLC;
                          she retains her good looks and winning personality thru the decades, and she never gets a headache. And best of all; she doesn't fart and snore all night, or ask me any trick questions like ; do these pants make me look fat?

                          King Solomon had 700 wives and concubines besides. That is more persons than live in my town. You know why Solomon had so many women? I'll tell ya; cuz the odds are astronomically against them all having a headache on the same evening.
                          I told my wife; I'm just like Solomon, in fact all men are; we just don't have the wherewithal to support so many women; and the law of the land limits us to just one wife. So you're it. I asked her; Yaknow; it is written; "therefore does a man leave his mother and father, and cleave to his wife"; what do you suppose this " therefore" is?

                          They say Solomon was the smartest man that ever lived.
                          Personally, I don't agree with that.
                          For all his wisdom,
                          IMO,
                          Solomon wasn't very smart at all;
                          He shouldda had a Mopar.
                           
                          Last edited: Oct 18, 2020 at 12:02 PM
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                          • rumblefish360

                            rumblefish360 So close, yet so far away FABO Gold Member

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                            Who’s Soloman?
                             
                          • Dfr360cuda

                            Dfr360cuda MAGA Again

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                            King Solomon had 700 wives and concubines besides. That is more persons than live in my town. You know why Solomon had so many women? I'll tell ya; cuz the odds are astronomically against them all having a headache on the same evening.
                            I told my wife; I'm just like Solomon, in fact all men are; we just don't have the wherewithal to support so many women; and the law of the land limits us to just one wife. So you're it. I asked her; Yaknow; it is written; "therefore does a man leave his mother and father, and cleave to his wife"; what do you suppose this " therefore" is?
                            ................................................

                            Hmmmm... Concubine, I had to look that up.

                            Now... Where can I get some ?
                             
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                            • fishmens67

                              fishmens67 Well-Known Member

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                              10 reasons guys love lady gearheads and lube. lol
                               
                            • AJ/FormS

                              AJ/FormS 68 B'cuda fb, Form S clone ... 367/A833/3.55s

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                              Solomon was the man among all men, blessed by God in every way possible, until he let his passions get the better of him. He was, afterall, just a man.
                              From his union with Bathsheba, would eventually spring, Jesus.
                               
                            • rumblefish360

                              rumblefish360 So close, yet so far away FABO Gold Member

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                              Really! More religious services? Good Lord AJ!
                              Considering I’m in a car form, definitely not the line of thinking I was on!

                              You never did answer my question. What Christian religion is it your following?
                               
                            • Dfr360cuda

                              Dfr360cuda MAGA Again

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                              .....................

                              And my question...
                              Where can I get some ?
                               
                            • Dfr360cuda

                              Dfr360cuda MAGA Again

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                              Jokes, Funny Stuff, Anything Goes
                              PLease keep it semi clean - but post your funny stuff here
                              .......................................

                              Am I in the right place ???
                               
                            • rumblefish360

                              rumblefish360 So close, yet so far away FABO Gold Member

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                              Fixed
                               
                            • Dfr360cuda

                              Dfr360cuda MAGA Again

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                              Cheaply and legally.

                              image.jpeg
                               
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                              • AJ/FormS

                                AJ/FormS 68 B'cuda fb, Form S clone ... 367/A833/3.55s

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                                Cuz it's a trick question,
                                like;
                                does this dress make me look fat.....
                                In 43 years of wedded bliss; two things I have learned;
                                wives are devious beyond understanding,and
                                they never loose a battle.
                                So I stay in my corner of the rooftop, and let her fuss and fume to her hearts content, and I only have to hear "you never listen to me", instead of having to deal countless times hearing about the time I called her a fatazz which I would never do. I mean 200 pounds ain't fat is it? I mean not in my mirror; I look great!

                                You asked ;
                                I answered.

                                @Dfr360cuda , carried the ball. I think he got my humor.
                                 
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                                • rumblefish360

                                  rumblefish360 So close, yet so far away FABO Gold Member

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                                  Ummmm, no sir, it is not. Not at all.
                                  If you are a Christian and you so say you are... then the question is explicit and simple bluntly put forth as straight as an arrow, as they say.

                                  Roman Catholic, Pentecostal, Lutheran, etc....
                                   
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