A Discussion on Funerals

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ChargedDart75

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The wife and I have a funeral to attend this evening (for one of her coworker's family members) and it made me think about how I dislike funerals, but maybe not in the way you'd think. I dislike them because it makes a family who's trying to grieve put on a smile and pretend like everything is ok, especially when it's not, to hear some turd like me say some generic condolence or somebody come up to them bawling and make the them even more upset than they are. I try to be as respectful as humanly possible to not upset the family, that's why I give the old reliable "I'm sorry for your loss." It seems to be the least likely to upset anybody. Thoughts?
 
'Sorry for your loss' and find the beverage cart.. I hate funerals..

My wife died last year and in lieu of a funeral, we had a small intimate gathering (her wishes). That was bad enough, can't imagine a full blown funeral.. I'd have snapped..
 
i guess the real question is, would you go to someone's funeral who didnt come to yours?
 
Truly Sorry for “your” loss.
'Sorry for your loss' and find the beverage cart.. I hate funerals..

My wife died last year and in lieu of a funeral, we had a small intimate gathering (her wishes). That was bad enough, can't imagine a full blown funeral.. I'd have snapped..
 
The last one I went to did me in. Very emotional and a great loss of life shorted by Cancer.... Total Debbie downer! It was like the whole event took years away from all of us who surrounded this mans death including the family. So unless it is immediate family, I don't go to them anymore. It may seem disrespectful but I don't care about anyone's opinion on me passing up seats at a dead persons final goodbye but mine on the matter.

JW
 
If there's anything you need, let me know.
 
I go to my friends funerals to comfort their family and to share stories and let them know their family member will truly be missed... its the honorable thing to do.
 
'Sorry for your loss' and find the beverage cart.. I hate funerals..

My wife died last year and in lieu of a funeral, we had a small intimate gathering (her wishes). That was bad enough, can't imagine a full blown funeral.. I'd have snapped..
I hate that. I couldn't imagine what that's like. My Dad passed last year and that was rough too. I told my wife to throw my body somewhere and go have fun. Tell stories and jokes and remember the good times.
 
I hate that. I couldn't imagine what that's like. My Dad passed last year and that was rough too. I told my wife to throw my body somewhere and go have fun. Tell stories and jokes and remember the good times.


Right here. Try a young child who commits Suicide if you want to see one wrecked family trying to hear words from Outsiders. I just sat there in disbelief during that one...

JW
 
I don't like funerals. Nowdays "Celebration of Life" events are easier. They are usually weeks after the death and obviously if the deceased was cremated. I usually go to the visitation the day before. They are usually light hearted and not so somber. I told the wife I don't want anything sad. I want a party with food and drinks. A keg, old cars, and 70's rock playing. It's my last party! Cheers!
 
I don't like funerals. Nowdays "Celebration of Life" events are easier. They are usually weeks after the death and obviously if the deceased was cremated. I usually go to the visitation the day before. They are usually light hearted and not so somber. I told the wife I don't want anything sad. I want a party with food and drinks. A keg, old cars, and 70's rock playing. It's my last party! Cheers!
Same here on the last part. It's always awkward too if you're going with somebody and you don't know the family.
 
I hate funerals, I did manage to go to some good friends, but never to the grave yard, I have a hard time hitting me with the casket lowered in the ground.
I had to bury two of my children when they were 2 & 3 years old on the same day. To this day I can only remember only a few details from the grief.
 
I hate funerals, I did manage to go to some good friends, but never to the grave yard, I have a hard time hitting me with the casket lowered in the ground.
I had to bury two of my children when they were 2 & 3 years old on the same day. To this day I can only remember only a few details from the grief.

That's a hard read right there. Live out your days as best you can man.

jw
 
I had a friend commit suicide via gunshot to the head. By far the hardest funeral that I've been too.

Still messes with my head knowing we talked hotrods for an hour or so only a week before he took his on life. I had no idea he was struggling with anything.
 
I hate funerals, I did manage to go to some good friends, but never to the grave yard, I have a hard time hitting me with the casket lowered in the ground.
I had to bury two of my children when they were 2 & 3 years old on the same day. To this day I can only remember only a few details from the grief.
I'm sorry to hear that. I couldn't imagine that and don't want to.
 
I had a friend commit suicide via gunshot to the head. By far the hardest funeral that I've been too.

Still messes with my head knowing we talked hotrods for an hour or so only a week before he took his on life. I had no idea he was struggling with anything.
That's rough man. It's hard to think about that somebody could be battling those thoughts and nobody knows.
 
"Some people" in my family bring beer in a cooler in the trunk of the car and go out for a beer in the parking lot periodically....
 
I can tell you the words they don't want to hear nor should you ever say them to anyone grieving. " I know what your going thru" Unless you have!
 
Separation from a loved one is maybe the cruelest of periods in life. I don't think anyone has ever thought of any truly appropriate words to say at a time like this.

Being present is what counts, although I can understand people who stay away, believing correctly that words are not enough to console anyone.
 
I have been to funerals where one person after another goes to the podium and gives a short speech of how the deceased positively influenced their life. Those are much better than the standard sermon from a guy in a robe.
 
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