longarm
Car sold back to original owners
A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a big department
store looking for a job. The manager says, "Do you have any sales
experience?" The kid says, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas."
The boss liked the kid, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll
come down after we close and see how you did." His first day on the job
was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss
came down. "How many sales did you make today?" The kid says, "One." The
boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How
much was the sale for?" Kid says, "$101,237.64." Boss says, "$101,237.64?
What did you sell him?" Kid says, "First I sold him a small fish hook.
Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook.
Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going
fishing, and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a
boat, so we went down to the boat department, and I sold him that twin
engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would
pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him
that 4X4 Blazer." The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook
and you sold him a boat and truck?" Kid says, "No, he came in here to buy
a box of tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Well, since your weekend's
shot, you might as well go fishing.'"
BONUS
I wanted to share with you a new program the company I work for is
instituting. It is called 'Special High Intensity Training'. Here is the
memo we received:
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity
from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained,
through our program of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.). We are
trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else does.
If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job,
please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the
S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you
get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle. Employees who do not take their
S.H.I.T. will be placed in Departmental Employee Evaluation Programs
(D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.
seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T.
S.H.I.T.). Since your managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted,
they do not have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, because they are full of
S.H.I.T. already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job, training
others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List
(B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get
S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for promotion to Director of Intensity
Programming (D.I.P. S.H.I.T.). If you have any questions, please direct
them to our Head Of Training Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T.
S.H.I.T.).
Thank you,
Boss In General
Special High Intensity Training
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)
store looking for a job. The manager says, "Do you have any sales
experience?" The kid says, "Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas."
The boss liked the kid, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll
come down after we close and see how you did." His first day on the job
was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss
came down. "How many sales did you make today?" The kid says, "One." The
boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day. How
much was the sale for?" Kid says, "$101,237.64." Boss says, "$101,237.64?
What did you sell him?" Kid says, "First I sold him a small fish hook.
Then I sold him a medium fish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook.
Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going
fishing, and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was gonna need a
boat, so we went down to the boat department, and I sold him that twin
engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would
pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him
that 4X4 Blazer." The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook
and you sold him a boat and truck?" Kid says, "No, he came in here to buy
a box of tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Well, since your weekend's
shot, you might as well go fishing.'"
BONUS
I wanted to share with you a new program the company I work for is
instituting. It is called 'Special High Intensity Training'. Here is the
memo we received:
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity
from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained,
through our program of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.). We are
trying to give our employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else does.
If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job,
please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the
S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you
get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle. Employees who do not take their
S.H.I.T. will be placed in Departmental Employee Evaluation Programs
(D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.
seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T.
S.H.I.T.). Since your managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted,
they do not have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, because they are full of
S.H.I.T. already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job, training
others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List
(B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get
S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for promotion to Director of Intensity
Programming (D.I.P. S.H.I.T.). If you have any questions, please direct
them to our Head Of Training Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T.
S.H.I.T.).
Thank you,
Boss In General
Special High Intensity Training
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)
