Fishing Up North

[Northern Grit]

Three friends; Bill, Ted, and Jake decided to try some walleye fishing around Mackinaw Island. So they packed up the boat with plenty of bait and even more beer. As the day when on and the fishing was good they started to get a little tipsy and silly. After a while they transitioned into “loud rowdy drunk”.
At some point Jake was making a boisterous jester and ended up falling off the boat. Bill and Ted watched him start sinking as he was too drunk to swim. Ted still half way coherent jumps in the water after his friend. He got ahold of one arm and Bill reached over and helped Ted hoist him into the boat. Ted shouted “oh my god he’s not breathing” and instantly started C.P.R. After several compressions and breaths he turns to Bill and said “I don’t remember what Jake ate for lunch but his breath is awful”, to witch Bill replied “yea I don’t remember what he had for lunch and I don’t remember him wearing a snowmobile suit either”.

 

[Unconventional]

 

[Mark Wainwright]

Bob and Jim always took holidays together. So this year Bob asked "Where do you want to go this year"? Jim said "I'd like to go south this year how about you"?
Bob said "I'd like to go North this year" so they decided to have separate holidays this year.
When they got back they told each other where they had gone. Bob said as you know I went North and found a gorgeous lake, spring fed and mountains in the background. I went swimming, boating and fishing and had a wonderful time, how about you Jim?
Jim said I was walking down the hwy and found some railroad tracks so decided to follow them and see where they went. I got a mile down the tracks and I found a women tied to the tracks. Bob asked "what did you do"? Jim said "I untied her and then had the best sex I ever had with a women". Bob asked "What did she look like"?
Jim said " I don't know I never did find her head"