hospice care

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  1. diymirage

    diymirage HP@idle > hondaHP@redline

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    thought i would throw this out for you guys, it helped me immensely, i figured it might help some of you


    as some of you know, my aging mother in law is living with us

    years ago she had gotten diagnosed with alzheimers but around december last year she developed a brain infection

    it was about 11 or so at night, and i heard her snoring (for lack of a better term) so i send the wife down to check up on her and when she did we found that she was non responsive and having seizures

    we called 911 and they brought her to a nearby hospital

    while she was there she was diagnosed with a brain infection i can not even pronounce (i believe it had a 75% mortality rate) and spend 2 weeks in the hospital

    when she got released, somehow someone turned us onto "palliative care"
    we signed her up on this service, and they looked at her record and said "hospice is a better fit got her"

    now, my wife had the hardest time making the decision to do that because to her it felt like she was giving up on her mom
    (one of the requirements for hospice is a prognosis of less then 6 months to live)

    however, since she has been on hospice, we could not have been happier with the care she has received

    the first thing they did was change the approach from "quantity of life" to "quality of life"
    this cut her pill load down to 25% was it was before and her body reacted very well to that
    the also stopped the weekly blood test which were a real hassle trying to get her to the hospital each week to draw blood

    and this was priceless, to have someone say "hey, it is ok to not try to force her to take her drugs every night"
    or "she will eat when he body needs it, you are not being bad caretakers by not forcing her to eat when she doesnt want too"

    just to have someone come in and make those decisions for us was such a relief

    now, because of the way insurance works, they will cover either hospice, or the quantity of life approach, but not both

    one of the things this means is when her hand started hurting a few days ago, we couldnt just take her to the hospital for X rays because it would not be covered

    so, we talked to our hospice nurse and she had a mobile X ray tech show up at the house to take the pictures


    now, having said all this, if you are dealing with a loved one who is nearing the end of life, and you need a hand
    look into hospice

    and even if they are not nearing the end of their live, check into the palliative care they also cover kind of care, and often move patients around between them, and it really takes a load off the family who is acting as a caregiver, without being really equipped to do so
     
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    • DartGTDan

      DartGTDan '71 Dart GT Fan

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      We had hospice care for my dad 33 years ago. As you said, quality of life. He was kept very comfortable at home by his hospice care nurse/team. She/they not only cared for him, but kept the rest of the family comforted with the decisions he made about his end of life care. He was only 52 when he passed.

      More recently, my wife's parents went through hospice care during their last weeks. Dad passed almost 6 years ago, and mom almost 3 years ago.

      I agree with you, hospice helps everyone involved say goodbye in a comfortable dignified way.
       
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      • 67Dart273

        67Dart273 FABO Gold Member FABO Gold Member

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        I wish to hell I'd argued for Mom to stay in home instead of assisted living/ then down the hill/ to full care. Just one more nail in the virtual coffin to the "person formerly known as my sister"
         
      • crackedback

        crackedback FABO Gold Member FABO Gold Member

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        I did Hospice Care with my Mom last year. It was one of the worst and best things I've ever done. There's a huge difference in one term... there are caregivers and caretakers. The takers are looking out for themself while taking care of another person.

        Watching your parent wind down like a toy on a battery commercial is extremely tough. Getting to spend the last months with her were priceless. Some of the members here met my Mom. She was an incredible person, generous, with a great sense of humor. Got to share some great stories and fun moments the last few months.

        I agree that hospice care is incredible. Having a good team of pros from health, social, religion, psychology is a relief for the caregiver.

        @67Dart273 Funny, my POS sister wanted my mom to go to assisted living. Even though my mom protested, nope she's going. I said F no she's not and she came back to stay with me. Best thing I've done. Mom was happy and safe here.
         
        Last edited: Apr 14, 2021
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        • dadsbee

          dadsbee FABO Gold Member FABO Gold Member

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          If anyone has to do it with your Child, PM me and I'll try to hold your hand !
           
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          • pittsburghracer

            pittsburghracer FABO Gold Member FABO Gold Member

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            My mother (bone cancer) and my Sister (2 strokes) both died under Hospice care. Both were under 48 hours and admitted. My sister never woke up after the second one and my mother in pain for months had written no tube feeding in her Will. They cleaned mom up and made her beautiful in a nice housecoat and my sister and I spent hours with her. We were also invited to spend the night in an attached room. They treated mom like gold. Hospice care was totally free. So sorry to hear about your Mother In Law but they will make her as comfortable as humanly possible. We all gotta go and can only hope to go out pain free.
             
            Last edited: Apr 14, 2021
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            • Backally

              Backally FABO Gold Member FABO Gold Member

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              Wife recently retired after 15 yrs as a hospice nurse. Tough job, there were some bad days when someone she’d get close to passed, but good days when she really connected/helped with them and their family. Took great pride in feeling like she made their last months/weeks/days as comfortable as she could. Another big part was preparing the family. Explaining what to expect, getting them to understand how the last days would happen, what they could do to make it as easy as they could under the circumstances.
               
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              • yellow rose

                yellow rose Overnight Sensation FABO Gold Member

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                Wow your dad was young when he passed. That had to be terribly hard at that age.
                 
              • diymirage

                diymirage HP@idle > hondaHP@redline

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                my wife worked in a nursing home all through highschool...she was adamant her parents would not end up in one

                i dont know if any of you guys ever read the thread "fun with alzheimers" i posted a while ago
                its crazy to see how different things were back then

                i was just kinda poking fun at the fact that her mom would forget little things, most notably, that she hadnt made coffee yet that morning
                so i would get up, get the kids ready for school, make me a cup of coffee and i would turn around, and she'd made off with my coffee, just not remembering it wasnt hers


                things sure have gone downhill since then
                the other day she claimed her sister was in the house...to the best of my knowledge, her sister has never set foot in the U.S....took me a while to figure out that that day she was missing some 40 years, and the lady she thought was her sister was actually my wife


                (i know most of you wont get this one, but it sure hits the nail on the head)

                 
              • Bodyperson

                Bodyperson Pedal to the metal FABO Gold Member

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                That's how it works. They think they are younger than they are. Sons become brothers, wives become sisters etc. I'm so glad you brought in hospice.
                 
              • toolmanmike

                toolmanmike Moderator Staff Member FABO Gold Member

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                Dad asked to go to Hospice. He knew the end was near. They kept him comfortable until his last breath. It was a very peaceful way to go.
                 
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                • diymirage

                  diymirage HP@idle > hondaHP@redline

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                  the way i understand it, memories are build up in layers, in the same way you'd build a building, lay down a foundation, then start building up, one layer of bricks at a time

                  the foundation correlates to childhood memories, eye level might be early 20s, second floor is 40s, the attic is 60s and the roof is a few weeks ago

                  then alzheimers comes in like a hurricane and rips off the roof, and the attic and next thing you know, the patient is back in thier 40s

                  now, here is the curveball, my inlaws moved to the US in the mid 90s, when she was in her 50s
                  that means that all her knowledge of the english language is stored top of the second floor, just under the attic...which most days isnt there any more
                   
                • Bodyperson

                  Bodyperson Pedal to the metal FABO Gold Member

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                  That is intense. WOW!! Thanks for sharing that.
                   
                • SGBARRACUDA

                  SGBARRACUDA ROY FABO Gold Member

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                  Both my mom and dad Succumbed to complication of Alzheimers. Dad died in 2010, Mom in 2014. Hospice was a God send for me. My wife and I were the only ones left to take care of them. It is a awful way to watch your loved ones waste away.
                   
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                  • Brooks James

                    Brooks James Dustoff

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                    My mother had many ailments including congestive heart failure. It was one week home four weeks in the hospital , repeat repeat repeat. No quality of life whatsoever. She realized the end was near and asked to go to hospice. She got great care that we were all happy with. She was happy and at peace while she was there.
                     
                  • DartGTDan

                    DartGTDan '71 Dart GT Fan

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                    Yes, he went through hell! He had suffered the last 5 years of his life with complications from Type-2 Diabetes. He was legally blind, was on kidney dialysis (3 days a week) and had 7 amputations of his right leg (a couple of toes to start, then about half of his foot, etc... all the wat up to the hip). He decided he had had enough pain and suffering and refused any more dialysis treatments. The official cause of death was congestive heart failure (CHF).

                    I should clarify, in that he was my stepfather. He came into our lives when I was 8 and left us when I was 27.
                     
                  • 64DartGTinAZ

                    64DartGTinAZ FABO Gold Member FABO Gold Member

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                    Hospice workers are angels on earth
                     
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