I must step away from FABO for a while

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  1. cudamike13

    cudamike13 cudamike13 FABO Gold Member

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    Hi guys and gals.
    My wife had a massive stroke on July 6th 2019.
    She passed away the next day on July 7th 2019.
    I found her brain dead and called 911.
    She was airlifted to stroke center in Chatanooga Tn.
    By the time I arrived. they called me and said they have to talk to me before I could see her.
    They told me there was no hope of recovery.
    We had talked abt what we would do in such a situation.
    I signed a "DNR".
    We were married 35 yrs.

    I thought I was tough and could handle it on my own!
    Boy was I wrong.
    Last week it felt like I was hit by TRAIN.
    My Dr says I have severe Depression.
    Outside of finding my wife brain dead, this it the hardest thing, this is the worst thing ever in my life.
    I dont want to do anything, and it is very difficult to eat.
    I am messed up big time.


    I live in country where there are very few people.
    My wife was from here, but I know damn few people and its tough.


    I am being treated by Dr and hopefully I will recover from this.

    The FABO community is the closet thing to family I have.
    I hope to be back soon.
    Cudamike13.
     
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    • SLOPAR72

      SLOPAR72 Well-Known Member

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      That is a rough story and tough times. But your still here. No matter what you think or do just remember feet on the floor facing forward every morning. You have done nothing wrong and I certainly can't imagine the range of emotions you are going through so if necessary reach out for help.

      Good luck,
      JW
       
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      • cudamike13

        cudamike13 cudamike13 FABO Gold Member

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        Thank you JW.
        I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
         
      • doug 371

        doug 371 Well-Known Member

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        God be with you friend...
         
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        • Glenguy

          Glenguy Well-Known Member

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          So sorry to hear about that. I feel for you, bro. My thoughts and prayers for your grief. Please stay in touch.
           
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          • cudamike13

            cudamike13 cudamike13 FABO Gold Member

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            Thank you Doug.
            I am crying as I type this.
             
          • cudamike13

            cudamike13 cudamike13 FABO Gold Member

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            Thank you Glenguy.
             
          • Avispa

            Avispa FABO Gold Member FABO Gold Member

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            That's rough, listen to the Doc, join a group, maybe go online to a discussion group, do anyhting ya have to, JUST DON'T GIVE UP !!
             
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            • Professor Fate

              Professor Fate Push the button, Max...

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              Can't even imagine the heartache you're going through. You will endure. All I can say is our prayers are with you.
               
            • missing linc

              missing linc Loose nut behind the wheel

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              Cannot imagine the pain of your loss. Keep seeing the Dr. and ask for help to find counselling to help you through this extremely difficult time. If you have family, reach out to them, they can help you get through day to day. You did all that you could at the time, take solace in that.
              Stop by from time to time here and let us know how you are doing please.
               
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              • SLOPAR72

                SLOPAR72 Well-Known Member

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                Something to ponder in your thoughts. As I was sitting beside an X-girlfriend who had just found her son dead from suicide I heard what our associate pastor said well..... Below is what she said.

                This is real, this has happened, and you WILL get through it.

                Powerful statement and even someone who is not a believer of the Cloth or so to speak would agree as this Pastor put nothing in her statement but pure logic. Just something to keep in mind.

                JW
                 
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                • loganscuda

                  loganscuda DON’T reMember

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                  Cudamike13 I am so sorry for your loss and what your going through. Stay in touch with us. Even if it is not about cars. There are a lot of people here dealing with depression. We are either going into a storm, in the storm or going out of the storm some storms hurt a lot more but we will come out.
                   
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                  • IMFURYS

                    IMFURYS IMFURYS FABO Gold Member

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                    Mike,
                    I am so sorry to read this, my deepest condolences. My heart aches for you and what you are going through.
                    Please do whatever you need to deal with this terrible situation.
                    I understand how difficult it is to deal with severe depression. I don't want to discuss publicly how I know and how it has affected my family.
                    Please know that there are many people on here who will be there for you if you need anything. I will PM you my number, you can call me 24/7 if you need someone to talk to. I mean that, because of what has happened in my personal life.
                    Please don't hesitate to reach out. In the meantime, please, please continue to see and work with your doctor.
                    You are now in my thoughts and prayers.
                    Again, my condolences, please be safe.
                    Respectfully,
                    Dan Kelly
                     
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                    • Lee Robinson

                      Lee Robinson FABO Gold Member FABO Gold Member

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                      Mike, sorry for your loss. My wife and I will be married 39 years in Sept. This has to be devastating, as it came out of nowhere.
                      You'll have to carry on in this sad time.
                       
                    • cudascott

                      cudascott Now I have a Hemi

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                      Keep your head up Mike and like already stated just put one foot in front of the other and press on.
                      You are in our prayers.
                       
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                      • Lord Sparky

                        Lord Sparky Well-Known Member

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                        Don’t drop out. Have you considered moving to somewhere new? A change might be good. Many of us are dealing with depression.
                         
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                        • Danny Boy

                          Danny Boy Well-Known Member

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                          Really can't say much more than what has be stated above

                          I went thru severe depression years ago... and pulled thru it via therapy with a psychologist, taking meds, having a support community and much prayer

                          Please know that it's treatable and if possible, reach out to all of us; we are a community that is here to support you thru this

                          You will definitely be in my thoughts and prayers
                           
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                          • B'cuda

                            B'cuda FABO Gold Member FABO Gold Member

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                            Mike, my thoughts and prayers are with you. You can and will get through this even though it's doesn't feel like it. My first thought is don't step away from FABO or other things that can help as much as therapy. For me this website can be a great distraction from my everyday rut. I can share in other people's triumphs and help out in their dispare, people that don't know me, or what I have or have not done. It's a big network of friends and family. And I speak for everyone when I say we're here for you. Stay strong, stay connected. Start a new project. She would want you to. And we can help.
                             
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                            • famous bob

                              famous bob mopar misfit

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                              Quite sad, saying a prayer for YOU . Hang in there , a good church would help .
                               
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                              • Dave 74 Dart

                                Dave 74 Dart Well-Known Member

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                                Cudamike, I'm so sorry for your heart breaking loss. I cannot imagine what your going through but know that we are all thinking of you at this time. Please stay in touch with us.
                                 
                              • 340demon

                                340demon old man

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                                Mike I know how you feel but there is hope I LOST MY WIFE ON OUR 46TH ANV. We had retired to a small beach town I was helping a former cust. driving fuel tankers as I went in the office one day a lady said to me sorry for your lost and Sat night can be hell I thanked her and went home to the empty house. Later that week I ask if she would like to join me for dinner that Sat night she said yes.I found out she had lost her husband about a year and a half before I lost my wife We have now been together for 12 very happy years and at this point in we talk about our former mates but have a very happy life together.
                                 
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                                • ragtopfury

                                  ragtopfury Well-Known Member

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                                  Mike,
                                  In 3 days you will have made it thru the hardest year of your life. Although the hurt never goes away completely, time helps us adjust to such a devestating loss.

                                  She may be gone from this earth, but she WILL live on in your heart and memories.

                                  How do I know with not going thru such a thing myself? I watched, and am still watching, my mother-in-law live thru it. She woke up in the middle of the night to her nonreponsive husband of 24 years. He was 49 years old with no known health issues. He had a massive heart attack in his sleep. That was 25 years ago this coming December. I remember that 0230 phone call like it was yesterday. I only got to know him for two and a half years. We still tell stories on and about him. I've watched my MIL grow into a stronger woman than she ever was.

                                  Praying for comfort and strength for you my friend.
                                   
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                                  • diymirage

                                    diymirage HP@idle > hondaHP@redline

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                                    man thats rough
                                    i cant imagine having to go through that

                                    listen, i think stepping back from Fabo is fine, but dont put your self in a echo chamber
                                    you need to have some people around you, family, friend, someone to remind you you're not in this alone

                                    i seem to think ive notices a few members are from mineral bluff, and im certain RRR is from georgia

                                    i bet there are about easy a dozen members within a few hours from you who would have no problem swinging by, having a root beer with you and just making sure you're ok
                                     
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                                    • Joey4speed

                                      Joey4speed FABO Gold Member FABO Gold Member

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                                      Mike,
                                      Devastating stories.
                                      But, to take the time to share, and type out what you're feeling, takes courage. Thats the type of courage it takes to beat this.
                                      Stay well. We all hope to be hearing from you again, soon.
                                      Joe
                                       
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                                      • R4Sedan

                                        R4Sedan Larry FABO Gold Member

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                                        Mike, I very sorry to read this.
                                        I can only imagine.
                                        Please stay strong. There is a lot of good people here to talk too.
                                        My condolences to you.
                                        Prayers for your strength my friend.
                                         
                                      • Dana67Dart

                                        Dana67Dart Like a fine wine, only getting better with age! FABO Gold Member

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                                        So sorry for your loss. I can not even imagine.
                                         
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