Might offend some!

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niceolddart

niceolddart

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Most of these are ethnic jokes, but we're all of SOME ethnicity. Since I'm mostly Irish, I'll start with-----
Where do the Irish go on vacation? A different bar.
What is it called when an Italian has one arm longer that the other? A speech impediment.


What's the Cuban national anthem? Row,Row,Row your boat.
Why is there no Mexican Olympics? Because all of the ones that can run, jump or swim are already in the U.S.
Last but not least, how do you get a sweet, 80-year-old lady to yell the "F" word?
Get another sweet old lady to yell "BINGO"
 
I don't normally tell jokes that "might" offend people and, since I "might" have offended a couple people with a joke (about women) on here the other day...well...might as well keep that going.

Why do women have shorter feet?
So they can get closer to the stove!!
 
plymouth67 said:
I don't normally tell jokes that "might" offend people and, since I "might" have offended a couple people with a joke (about women) on here the other day...well...might as well keep that going.

Why do women have shorter feet?
So they can get closer to the stove!!
Click to expand...
Why don't woman need a watch. There's one on the stove
 
How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give the ***** a shovel. :p
 
kermie.jpg
 
Why does Donald Trump put his name on casinos in Atlantic City?

So the banks know witch ones to put the padlock on! Before you start yapping, do a little research.
 
A guy drives his girlfriend to the most remote part of lover's lane and parks.
He asks her: ''Do you believe in the hereafter?''
She says: ''I don't know. Why do you ask?
He replies: ''Because, if you're not here after what I'm here after, then you'll be here after I've gone.''
 
What's the difference between an Irish Wedding and an Irish Funeral?
One less drunk.

How many black people does it take to shingle a roof?
4 if you slice them thin enough.

A dude is crossing between 2 skyscrapers on a tight rope. Another guy is getting a BJ from a 93 year old woman. What are they both thinking?
Don't look down.
 
JoePole1 said:
What's the difference between an Irish Wedding and an Irish Funeral?
One less drunk.

How many black people does it take to shingle a roof?
4 if you slice them thin enough.

A dude is crossing between 2 skyscrapers on a tight rope. Another guy is getting a BJ from a 93 year old woman. What are they both thinking?
Don't look down.
Click to expand...
Oh sh@$!!! You went there!!! LMFAO!!
 
AJ/FormS said:
This only works until they start having babies. After the second or third one, the back burners never get used anymore, and you become the Master BarBQer.
Click to expand...
Well, if that happens, I would hope the man of the newly appointed position of BBQ Master has enough pride to get it right and kick *** at the job! Ain’t no shame knowing how to get at done behind the grill!

Good eats is a serious biz!
Making them great is a passion!
 
What do you call a guy from Japan who is a Karate expert who has a dad with Diarrhea?
A slap happy Jappy with a crap happy pappy
 
What do you call Hispanic twins.

Spigots.

What do you get when you mix a gay Eskimo with a lifetime welfare recipient.
A snow blower that never works
 
Man or Woman it's pretty funny
Computers: male or female?
A language instructor was explaining to her class that in French, nouns unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. "House," in French, is feminine: "la maison." "Pencil," in French, is masculine: "le crayon."

One puzzled student asked, "What gender is a computer?" The teacher did not know, and the word wasn't in her French dictionary. So for fun she split the class into two groups appropriately enough, by gender and asked them to decide whether "computer" should be a masculine or feminine noun.

Both groups were required to give four reasons for their recommendation. The men's group decided that computers should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computer"), because:

  1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic

  2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else

  3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible later retrieval

  4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine("le computer"), because:

  1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on;

  2. They have a lot of data but they are still clueless

  3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem

  4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you'd waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
 
I was in junior high and told a kid a few Jew jokes. He then tells me he's Jewish. Lump in the throat and stammering an apology, he then went on to tell me a string of terribly offensive Jew jokes. I laughed my *** off, wish I remembered them. If you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at.
 
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