my all time favorite joke

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i only tell this joke about once every 4 to 5 years

a few weeks ago we had a cook out at a friends house and i found myself on my talking throne and sharing the story, it was such a great success, i decided to share it with you guys here

now, i must warn you, jokes are all about the delivery and this joke is much, much better in real life

so now that you have been properly informed, grab yourself a seat and listen to the tale of the red and white knight, on the black and white horse...



There once was a red and white knight on black and white horse and one day he has heard that the kings daughter has become of age, and is now considering marriage partners.
the red and white knight on the black and white horse is excited about the prospect of marrying the princess and sets off towards the castle.

as he approaches the castle, he is stopped by the bridge keeper (as you know, every self respecting king has a castle with a moat, and there needs to be a bridge across this moat with a bridge keeper)

"who goes there" cried the bridge keeper?

"it is I, the red and white knight, on the black and white horse"


"What THE red and white knight on black and white horse?"

"YES THE red and white knight on black and white horse, and i seek an audience with the king.

"fair enough" responds the bridge keeper, you may enter"

so the red and white knight on the black and white horse crosses the bridge and nears the gate of the caste.

"HALT! who goes there" cried the gate keeper


"it is I, the red and white knight, on the black and white horse"


"What THE red and white knight on black and white horse?"

"YES THE red and white knight on black and white horse, and i seek an audience with the king.

"fair enough" responds the gate keeper, you may enter"

so the red and white knight on the black and white horse passes through the gate and enters the castle. as he makes his way through the halls he comes to the throne room of the king and meets with the guards who are stationed there.

who goes there? inform the guards.

"it is I, the red and white knight, on the black and white horse"


"What THE red and white knight on black and white horse?"

"YES THE red and white knight on black and white horse, and i seek an audience with the king.

"fair enough" respond the guards, you may enter"

as he passed through the doorway into the throne room of the king, he drops on one knee and offers a greeting to the king on his throne

"Hail King!"

"hail, fair knight, who are you and what is your request?"


"it is I, the red and white knight, on the black and white horse"


"What THE red and white knight on black and white horse?"

"YES THE red and white knight on black and white horse, and i humbly wish to ask for your daughters hand in marriage.

The king is excited about the prospect of having a noble knight for a son in law, but the king is no fool, he knows some of these men are born into the title and not all are son in law material. so he poses a quest.

"Only if you can complete 3 tasks for me, first kill a cyclops and bring me its eye, then steal a witches broom and finally slay the dragon and bring me its tongue."

The knight considers the kings quest, and is impressed by the wisdom of his decision. clearly, the king is not bedazzled by his armor or the muscles of his steed and seeks only the best prospect for his daughter the princes.

"i accept" says the red and white knight on the black and white horse.

He bows, and exits the throne room, leaves the castle and sets out to seek the cyclops.

it doesnt take long to find the fiend, terrorizing a neighboring village

"Hail, Cyclops! I'm the red and white knight on black and white horse."

"What THE red and white knight on black and white horse?"

"YES THE red and white knight on black and white horse, I've come to kill you and take your eye."

So he kills the cyclops and takes his eye, he continues on when he stumbles on the witches house.

"Hail, witch! I'm red and white knight on black and white horse."

"What THE red and white knight on black and white horse?"

"Yes THE red and white knight on black and white horse, I've come to take your broom."

So he kills the witch and takes her broom, off he sets again towards the dragon's cave, when he gets there he shout into the cave, "Hail, vile beast! I'm red and white knight on black and white horse!"

The dragon comes out, "What THE red and white knight on black and white horse?"

"Yes THE red and white knight on black and white horse, I've come to kill you." So he kills the dragon and takes its tongue.

Laden with his trophies, he sets back towards the castle, and finally makes it to the bridge.


"HALT! who goes there" cried the gate keeper


"it is I, the red and white knight, on the black and white horse"


"What THE red and white knight on black and white horse?"

"YES THE red and white knight on black and white horse, and i return from a quest for the king.

"fair enough" responds the gate keeper, you may enter"

crossing the bridge, he is stopped by the gate keeper.

"HALT! who goes there" cried the gate keeper


"it is I, the red and white knight, on the black and white horse"


"What THE red and white knight on black and white horse?"

"YES THE red and white knight on black and white horse, and i return victorious from a quest for the king.

"fair enough" responds the gate keeper, you may enter"


so the red and white knight on the black and white horse passes through the gate and enters the castle. as he makes his way through the halls he comes to the throne room of the king and meets with the guards who are stationed there.

who goes there? inform the guards.

"it is I, the red and white knight, on the black and white horse"


"What THE red and white knight on black and white horse?"

"YES THE red and white knight on black and white horse, and i return, laden with trophies from a victorious quest for the king.

"fair enough" respond the guards, you may enter"

it is now near dinner time, as he walks into the throne room and there are many, many people there dining with the king.
a hush falls over the congregation as the door opens and the broad silhoute of the red and white knight on the black and white horse appears in the doorway.

"wow" exclaims one of the maides "...who is that?"

"I'm red and white knight on black and white horse"

Everyone looks around and says in unison "What THE red and white knight on black and white horse?"

"Yes THE red and white knight on black and white horse, I've brought all the trophies for the king."

So a servant runs up to the throne of the king "Sir, its the red and white knight on black and white horse."

"What THE red and white knight on black and white horse?

"Yes THE red and white knight on black and white horse, he's brought the trophies."

So the king goes to meet him and exclaims, "Ah THE red and white knight on black and white horse"

"Yes THE red and white knight on black and white horse, I've brought the trophies and wish to ask for your daughters hand in marriage."

The king sends him up to his daughter's chambers and the knight knocks on the door, "Who is it?"

"It is I the red and white knight on black and white horse!"

"What THE red and white knight on black and white horse?"

"Yes THE red and white knight on black and white horse." The princess opens the door, "What do you want?"

"I've have finished the quest set before me by your father, the king thus have earned the right to ask you...princess, will you marry me?"

The princess looks him over from head to toe, then looks the horse over from head to toe and responds "no thanks" and slams the door in his face.
 
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I want my 25 minutes back.
hey, you are lucky i gave you the abridged version
normally, the red and white knight on the black and white horse is stopped by the guards, the gate keeper and the bridge keeper on his way out of the castle aswell

on top of that, i severely shortened it by telling it with a single headed dragon, instead of the traditional 7 headed dragon


but now you know WHY i only tell it every few years
 

krazykuda

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This one is shorter and has a happier ending...


Politics.jpg
 
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This one is shorter and has a happier ending...


View attachment 1715988659
shorter , yes, but the "knight" in your joke ends up getting married, tied down and forced into a white collar job
in my joke, the knight remains free to slay dragons, chase maidens and drink mead

you tell me which joke has the happier ending?
 

YY1

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...but it's because of the whim of the maiden, not the choice of the k'nigit.

That almost invalidates the whole point of the "joke" (and I use that term very loosely...and yes, I know how to spell "knight")
 
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