My Luck

Mark Wainwright

Mark Wainwright

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Bobacuda

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Think you had a bad day? This truck was hauling chicken feet and guts. Truck had to make a quick stop - the chicken parts didn’t.
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Ahoey

Ahoey

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Unconventional said:
I pity da fool has to crawl under dat truk wif a greese gun!
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Coming home from Gimli with empty grain trailer a deer broadsided the saddle tank and went under the drives, got back to the yard and asked the tec to set my brakes. He rolled under on his creeper came back out 5 times as fast just swearing. Boy was he mad I was just laughing, good thing we are pals, got payback for that I tell ya
 
Unconventional

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Yesterday I was at Costco, buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet Owen, the Wonder Dog, and was In the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant?
So, because I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV’s in both arms.
I told her that It was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, (certified), so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in Intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I had stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me. Well, I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Costco won t let me shop there anymore. Moral of the story: Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
 
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Minercar

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Unconventional said:
Yesterday I was at Costco, buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet Owen, the Wonder Dog, and was In the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant?
So, because I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV’s in both arms.
I told her that It was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, (certified), so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in Intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I had stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me. Well, I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Costco won t let me shop there anymore. Moral of the story: Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
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If this really happened it is one of the funniest things I've heard in quite awhile.
 
KC69Cuda

KC69Cuda

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Unconventional said:
Yesterday I was at Costco, buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet Owen, the Wonder Dog, and was In the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant?
So, because I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV’s in both arms.
I told her that It was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, (certified), so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in Intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I had stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me. Well, I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Costco won t let me shop there anymore. Moral of the story: Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.
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In the version I've seen, the guy steps off a curb to sniff a poodle's *** & gets hit by a car
:rofl:
 
Mark Wainwright

Mark Wainwright

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joel d. snyder said:
start adding kids every now and then.
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My late FIL was in the Army for WW2 and had a close friend. So after they got out they kept in touch over the years. They would exchange xmas cards and every year my FIL would add another kids name. After adding 8 names his friend quit writing. That was his sense of humour.
He only had two girls. He was a great guy with a dry sense of humour
 
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