Train your wife in five easy lessons

Jokes, Funny Stuff, Anything Goes

  1. 65 Cuda 340

    65 Cuda 340 FABO Gold Member FABO Gold Member

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    train-your-wife-in-5-easy-lessons.jpg
     
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    • 70duste

      70duste Well-Known Member

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      that will never happen:rofl::rofl:
       
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      • TexasDart

        TexasDart Well-Known Member

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        The snapping of fingers always works for me.
         
      • sireland67

        sireland67 FABO Gold Member FABO Gold Member

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        No way man, my wife has too many cast-iron skillets.
         
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        • Ottmundr

          Ottmundr 68 Fastback

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          That means that you should be served a grilled ham and cheese every weekend, no excuses of, "the pan is dirty."
           
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          • Backally

            Backally FABO Gold Member FABO Gold Member

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            And you noticed she has nothing on under that apron.
             
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            • Dusterdenovo

              Dusterdenovo Contentedly Old School

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              • AJ/FormS

                AJ/FormS 68 B'cuda fb, Form S clone ... 367/A833/3.55s

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                I don't want to "learn" how to train my wife.
                I just want HER to learn to do what I tell her to do, and for HER to learn to NOT do the the things I tell her Not to Do.
                Like spending $1000 a month, when there is only $500 in the bank. .....

                And no, I don't want to see my wife naked any more, cuz she don't listen!
                >One time, I told her I was a lil concerned about her weight gain. That was about a hundred pounds ago.
                >I thought I had about two years of cash stashed for a rainy day, But she don't listen! In 15 months, it's as good as gone. I know I didn't spend a nickle of it..................
                >I told her; Next summer I will be forced to sell the house if this keeps up. She said; so sell it then.
                >Honey I said; you know those porkchops you so dearly love? Well they love you too; so much so that they keep hanging around and have set up camping on your butt. Along with the beer,pizza, and taters. Butt not just on your butt anymore...
                >honey, you know how you have balance problems, and are always banging into things? Well blame it on those sticky spare-ribs, chicken-wings, and the special sauces; I think they like the one side more than the other. Butt at night, they get together and play games, and by morning they are camping out in different places. So you never know on which side to hang the "Wide-Load" sign.
                >Honey I said, who's gonna help you off the couch when I'm not here? I told you; diet and exercise. Social media is killing you. Go mow the lawn, paint the shed, shingle the roof, etc. then you can have ONE porkchop, not the whole dozen. Eat you veggies too. No!, leave the beer alone.
                >She don't listen. I got extra pallbearers on standby, so they can change off every few steps.
                >Yaknow it's so funny; she bought cushions to put on the front seat of the car. What's that about? she's already got EIGHT inches of cushion glued to her butt; I would think that she would need less seat-cushion,not more. Then she leans the seatback waaay back, and puts a cushion in there too! What's that about? There is so much padding on her back already that when she sweats it runs down the center and leaves a trail on the sidewalk!
                >Nope, I don't want to ever see my wife naked any more.
                >I think her left leg is bigger than my waist........ ok that part is an exaggeration,lol. I might have an inch on her,there. But you could probably put two of me in the pants she wears;
                >I know exactly where my Emergency fund went; I see it every time she walks away from me, and I ain't never getting it back.
                >anybody wanna buy a nice 4 bedroom older home?
                 
              • TexasDart

                TexasDart Well-Known Member

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                Wow AJ sounds like a winner. Geez.

                luckily my wife has already read that book. She spoils me pretty good. Course I spoil her too.
                 
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                • Ahoey

                  Ahoey Well-Known Member

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                  Those last few posts although funny, really scare the hell out of me. Some women just would not see the ha ha in that my wife would be one. A very dark cloud would be following her around for a while
                   
                • 65 Cuda 340

                  65 Cuda 340 FABO Gold Member FABO Gold Member

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                  Just FYI, the "ad" is a joke. There was no such booklet, or such an organization. The picture, however, is real. It was the cover of the June 1959 issue of Jem magazine, which arguably was pretty misogynistic in its own right

                  june 1959 jem magazine.jpg
                   
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                  • diymirage

                    diymirage HP@idle > hondaHP@redline

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                    Didn't even notice the bong at first
                     
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                    • Ahoey

                      Ahoey Well-Known Member

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                      Have 4 years science and mechanics1955 to 1959 no articles like that but worded the same way “you can do this” whatever this is an ad in the back of the mag. I’ve posted it before so I don’t get ribbed about being old and forgetful I am ok ADE11346-4FF7-4030-ACB8-BAD5F6C86AA5.jpeg
                       
                    • K.O. SWINGER

                      K.O. SWINGER Meeting in the alley since 1976

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                      You just have to make her think that it was her idea and all the other women wish they could do it. but then again it could backfire and she'll rip out your heart wiper butt with it and then feed it to you, yeah I could see it going either way!
                       
                    • fishmens67

                      fishmens67 FABO Gold Member FABO Gold Member

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                      My wife already does most of it, comes naturally to her. I don't have to snap my fingers. lol
                      She even washes my back. lol
                      There are advantages to marrying your high school sweetie, 39 years and still getting my back washed. lol
                       
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                      • diymirage

                        diymirage HP@idle > hondaHP@redline

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                        my wife tends to shave my neck, just to keep me looking somewhat presentable

                        of course, the best way to do this is in the shower


                        i dont really enjoy getting my neck shaven, but its a great excuse to get her in the shower where i can do things to her i DO enjoy
                         
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                        • Mark Wainwright

                          Mark Wainwright Well-Known Member

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                          Easy now lol
                           
                        • pauly

                          pauly MOPAR or no car! FABO Gold Member

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                          Does she use a straight razor????
                           
                        • Mark Wainwright

                          Mark Wainwright Well-Known Member

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                          She might one of these days LOL
                           
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                          • diymirage

                            diymirage HP@idle > hondaHP@redline

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                            Safety razor, since that is what I use

                            In fact the only person to ever shave me with a straight razor is my sister
                             
                          • Slowswinger

                            Slowswinger Well-Known Member

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                            I’d be happy for just the last one.
                             
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