dis-owning family members

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wow that sucks rani

i have family members on my moms side that for some reason wont talk to us, i think thats a good thing. no drama. i moved to west texas from new jersey for a job, but in hindsight it works well, as theres drama in my family too. i fly home a few times a year and visit with my folks, brothers and nieces and nephew. i talk with my folks every day since i am close with them and they are getting old dad is 76 and mom is 74 i dunno how much time they have left.

i have surrounded myself with good friends, i dont associate with people who drag me down, or ask me for money all the time like i owe it to them, or borrow tools and not return them. i give a friend 2 chances. the second one its done.

now of course thats different with my wife, we all make mistakes and need to forgive or be forgiven, so we work hard to keep each other happy and respect each other.

my wife has a scheister on her side of the family. a younger sister who was coddled by my mother in law her whole life tho my wife had to work for everything she has. this sister has had people cosign on car loans, then defaulted and the cars were returned dirty and beat up, she doesnt want to work, and will work only long enough to collect unemployment. she is essentially a large child. we were asked to cosign for a car. or let her borrow money for one. the answer wasnt no but HELL NO!!!!

actually my idea was i will buy the car and it sits in my garage and i hold the title and keys till you pay me back in full then you can have the keys to it. she never went for it, oh well hope she likes walking.

we associate with her only when we have to at family functions.

i say surround yourself with good friends, and family who love you and dont want to take advantage of you in any way, the hell with the rest. just remember people will do to you what you let them do to you. stay away from the trash family members, and have a relationship with the good ones.

hope this helps
matt
 
Frankie said:
This is just my opinion, but this seems to be too personal to share on a public forum.
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Why?

I'll tell anybody who wants to know. Almost everybody on mom's side of the family is dead and Uncle Ed is the only one I really care about (he's the one in Charleston).

My grandpa let my grandma sit for 3 months on life support, suffering before he let her go. And then two months later remarried and went back to WV. Not to mention, he was making passes at my mom (yes, his daughter-in-law) and my freaking sister! And of course he's hardcore southern baptist, so all of us in this household are going to hell in his mind. Can't wait till that fu#%er dies.

Never met mom's parents. Her dad was an abusive alchoholic jackass anyways.

Her other brother only calls on election year, blitzed out of his mind, just to find out if we are voting Republican.

Dad's siblings are lazy good for nothing sacks of **** and his sister stabbed us in the back not long after there mom died.

I hate my girlfriends mom because I really resent her for the way Kayliegh and her sister's have been raised in her care. She's a *****. She had some jackass boyfriend that would beat the **** out of her everyday almost in front of the kids and they had been together for several years before me and Kay got together. She says I'm not good enough and I'm never going anywhere in life and I need to go to college blah blah blah. News flash, she's an RN making a salary of peanuts. She doesn't own her own home. She has 7 vehicles in her drive way, why? The hell if I know. And Kay and her younger sister's dad is disabled. Guess what those disability checks are paying for that the mom is getting? Her nice shiney *** Mercedes. Meanwhile there is hardly and food in the house, all their clothes are old worn out and stained and she just thinks she's some big success story!

Did I mention kayleigh is her little sister's parent because the mom is too busy going to work and when she's not at work she's in the bedroom with her new dead beat boyfriend who has no job and is a squatting mooch?

Kayleigh lovers her mom, personally I'm gonna laugh when kayliegh is on the other side of the state in college and there is no more taxpayer's checks rolling in and she's gonna have to get off her *** and be a parent. I'd love to read her success story then. Screw her.

I honestly can't say enough as to why I hate her or the rest of my family. But when they're dead and gone, it won't be a loss to me cause I don't care about them one bit.

I'll tell anybody who asks, just how screwed up my family is and how they can go to hell. It's no secret. They all know how I feel and if they don't then they're just too stupid to figure it out.
 
/6 Matt said:
Why?
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Because this is a public forum. It can be viewed by more than just it's members.

I didn't said she should stop, what I said was in MY OPINION it seems to be more personal than should be posted on a public forum.

What Rani does with her personal life, or what you do with yours, for that matter, is your own business. I seriously doubt that irreversibly announcing such personal family matters is healthy for future family relationships. It can only hurt. whether you agree with that opinion is irrelevant. Right, wrong, or indifferent, it is my opinion.

Young people today, rightly or wrongly, don't seem to place a value on privacy either for themselves, their families, or their friends. Hence the proliferation of very personal videos on youtube, and very personal accounts of family matters in public forums. There is no consideration for anyone else, and even self consideration is thrown to the wind. What might piss you off today, probably will seem very trivial 20, 30 or 40 years from now. The internet has one quality that is relatively new to life. It's forever. What you say and do on the net, never goes away, even if your mind changes, your values change, or your relationships change.

While you have every right to post whatever you like, where ever you like, the question isn't could you, it's should you?

It is my opinion that the internet is not the place to post very personal or intimate issues. Especially those issues that involve other people who might not wish public notoriety, issues that you might find yourself sorry for in the future, no matter what you think or feel right now.


Regarding the rest of your post, well, it's too personal, and,none of my business.
 
I can agree with you but I look at it this way. The way the people around me has screwed me and their loved ones, it deserves to be known. Why? Because when they did the things they did, they can't take it back and it will stay with them and haunt them forever. If they deserve to have their wrongs kept private then maybe we shouldn't have a registry for sex offenders.

Kind of an extreme statement yes and I don't support the notion, just using as an example to demonstrate my train of thought.

I still see your point of view.
 
And BTW Frankie, I'm not arguing with you or anything, just giving my point of view and letting you know I can see it from your perspective as well, even if I'm opposed to it. Yet I can still agree with it.
 
I treat everyone the same way, you get as much respect as you earn!!!

Friends, family, kids, all of them.
 
/6 Matt said:
And BTW Frankie, I'm not arguing with you or anything, just giving my point of view and letting you know I can see it from your perspective as well, even if I'm opposed to it. Yet I can still agree with it.
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It's cool, Matt. No problems. ;)
 
Frankie said:
It's cool, Matt. No problems. ;)
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Good to know, because sometimes I can come off as a condescending, imature smart @$$ lol.

I gotta say, jumping back to family. I really consider alot of the people here part of my family. I came here when I was just past 16 and now I'm 19. I've grown up alot because of some of the wisdom that I gain here from a group of people, the majority of which, is older than I. Further more, I feel it's something truly special the way we can all band together when needed. Most of us don't know each other from a hole in the wall and only know what we read here from others. Some of us know each other in person.

I had a large group of people come together and help me and my immediate family out once and everybody who helped went well above and beyond the call! Recently we all got together to help out Brian and his wife and that was a fantistic effort on our part. Fabo members, give yourselves a hand. We even have a little thing going for Rob right now because he is having a hard time.

It's truly exceptional to me that so many people can promote a brotherhood if you will, can support each other, and get together for causes contributing to the greater good of our online micro-society. This place is a large family to me. We share great news together and horrible news, we pray for each other in tough times and have all cried and laughed together as one group. The diversity here is another wonderful aspect, you never know when somebody will completely make you rethink your take on something.

Come to think of it, this group has done more for me than my dis-owned family would ever even consider.

Here's to a real family and the best mopar site on the net! :drinkers:
 
RaniDart70 said:
my bad uncle dont like that i live here in the US and he has applied for VISA to come here and got rejected so he says its dis-respectful of me to not help him get over here..

i really cant help him but even if i could i wouldn't .....there are two types of ppl who come to the US from other countries ....people who will appreciate it and those who are looking to use the oppertunity like a dish rag........he wont appreciate it ...he is just looking for a get rich scheme and not really looking for a peaceful life ....and i wont have anything to do with his evil plots.
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There are good people and there are bad people from all walks of life, all cultures and all families.

Rani, you strike me as a good person. I think you have figured it out and good for you for not having anything to do with your uncle's plans and please, don't give in to the blackmail.
 
unfortunately...you can t pick your family members. I know how you feel. the best parts of my family have went on to better places. I do not interact with any of my immediate family any more. it caused too many headaches and heart aches. I have started my own family and when all the crap you ve had enough of starts affecting that.........I think you have to cut it loose. I don t think its right, but ...I m a lot happier and my new family is too.
they say if you can t beat em...join em? or walk away and live your life for you.
hope it works out for ya.
 
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