Little Johnny

[Junior340]

At school one day, the teacher was trying to approach the topic of sex education and asked her students if they'd ever seen anything that was related to sex education on TV.

Mary raised her hand and said she had seen a movie about women having babies. “Great,” said the teacher, “that's very important. ”

Then Judy raised her hand and told the teacher she had seen a TV show about people getting married. “Well, that has to do with it too,” said the teacher.

Then Johnny raised his hand and said he had seen a western where some Indians came riding over the hill and John Wayne shot them all. The teacher said, “Well, Johnny, that really doesn't have anything to do with sex education.”

“Yes it does,” said Johnny, ” it taught those Indians not to f**k with John Wayne.”

 

[retroron]

The class's instruction was to bring a "show and tell" to school for the following day.
When it was little Johnny's turn, he proudly held up a light bulb.

When the teacher asked him what it was for, he said. "my Dad eats light bulbs!" Everyone laughed and the teacher admonished him, saying "that can't be!"

Johnny said it was true, he said, "it is true, I heard my Dad say to Mom, turn the lights out and I'll eat it for you honey!"

 

[dart_68]

Little Johnny is sitting in class again and the teacher explains the definition of "definitely". She then asks the class to use "definitely" in a sentence.

A little girl raises her hand and says, "The sky is definitely blue!" The teacher says that she is wrong in that when the clouds come over the sky is not blue.

Teacher, "Anyone else?"

Another little girl raises her hand and says, "Teacher, the grass is definitely green!"

"I'm sorry but in winter the grass turns brown, so the grass is not definitely green. Anyone else?"

Little Johnny raises his hand and and asks, "When you break wind does it have a lump in it?"

Teacher, "No."

Johnny, "Well then I have definitely sh**!"

 

[DustyDuster]

Little John sure sounds like Brooklyn Tony from a few years back

 

[Yote]

At school one day the teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate ' in a sentence. Little Johnny replied. " my sister got a new sweater for her birthday . It had twelve buttons but her boobs were so big she could only fasten eight.
Yote

 

[j par]

Little Johnny was walking to school and passed a prostitution house where one of the ladies would see him every day and say "good morning little Johnny" and would wave her little finger at him while saying it.
One day he stopped and asked why do you wave your little finger at me when you say good morning to me? She said because that's the size of your little pecker.
So the next day when the lady waved her little finger and said "good morning little Johnny" he put each of his little fingers in the corners of his mouth and stretched it as far as he could while he said "GOOD MORNING LADY!"

 

[retroron]

Little Johnny was walking to school and passed a prostitution house where one of the ladies would see him every day and say "good morning little Johnny" and would wave her little finger at him while saying it.
One day he stopped and asked why do you wave your little finger at me when you say good morning to me? She said because that's the size of your little pecker.
So the next day when the lady waved her little finger and said "good morning little Johnny" he put each of his little fingers in the corners of his mouth and stretched it as far as he could while he said "GOOD MORNING LADY!"

My kinda guy

 

[dart_68]

Little Johnny's grandmother looks at Johnny's grandfather and says, "How come you never tell me you love me?"

Johnny's grandfather says, "Did I tell you I love you when we got married?"

"Yes"

"Ok, if anything changes I'll let you know."

 

[ir3333]

little Johnny was always late for school so the teacher asked him why. Johnny said every time i take a short cut and cross the farmers' field that big Bull chases me up a tree.The teacher said why don't you walk around the field tomorrow rather than across it.The next morning Johnny was on time so the teacher asked if he walked around the field so the bull couldn't chase him.Johnny exclaimed yes but the bull was still after me.Puzzled, the teacher asked why he thought the bull was still after him...Johnny promptly said, because he was up on top of a cow looking for me!

 

[Junior340]

Nude Sunbathing
Little Johnny, Billy and Tommy were walking home from school one warm spring day. As they were cutting through the alleys and backyards, they happened to look through a hole in the fence of one of the yards where a woman was sunbathing in the nude. As they looked through the hole, Johnny suddenly started to scream, left his friends and took off running for home. The next day, as the three boys came home again, they found the same hole in the fence and started to watch the woman. Again, after just a few minutes, Johnney started screaming and ran off quickly. On the third day, the boys were peeping into the hole in the fence again after school, when Johnny turned around and started to run again. But this time, Bill and Tommy grabbed him and demanded to know what was wrong. Johnny replied, "My mother told me that if I ever looked at a naked woman, I would turn to stone.... And I started to feel a part of me getting awfully hard........

 

[spankster]

Little Johnny is sitting in class again and the teacher explains the definition of "definitely". She then asks the class to use "definitely" in a sentence.

A little girl raises her hand and says, "The sky is definitely blue!" The teacher says that she is wrong in that when the clouds come over the sky is not blue.

Teacher, "Anyone else?"

Another little girl raises her hand and says, "Teacher, the grass is definitely green!"

"I'm sorry but in winter the grass turns brown, so the grass is not definitely green. Anyone else?"

Little Johnny raises his hand and and asks, "When you break wind does it have a lump in it?"

Teacher, "No."

Johnny, "Well then I have definitely sh**!"

 

[spankster]

Bravo