After reading the whole thread I don't know whether to chime in or not. First I will say that I have done restorations and custom work for five years as an owner/operater since that seems to qualify me to the OP. No, I don't have a site, I shut down in 2003 when Pop retired and the wife and I lost our daughter. Too much stress, too much work for one man to handle. I will tell you that FABO has made me miss the hell out of it, as it was truly the only time I've been happy with work in my entire adult life. I do have a few pics of a custom paint job that I'll be willing to email the OP since he believes that somehow qualifies me, too.
The arrogance you have displayed to some of the others who suggested blends and touch up makes me wonder if you'll dismiss my statement, even though I have 20 years in paint and body, five years in a manner in which you seem to want quantified.
There is absolutely no friggin' way this shop's way is the only "right" way. What it tells me is that this shop seems to be stuck in a rut as far as doing things and only knows of one way to do things. I don't mean to bad mouth them. Questionably, they are a good shop. But to me they're seeing this as an insurance claim from a company who's willing to pay.
There are techniques and paint materials on the market that would allow for this area to be blended, on the quarter and the door, that wouldn't go beyond 3' feet of the affected area, even with a three stage, using the correct techniques, and you would never have to reach any affected hard tapes lines, even with the clear. You just really need to have to know what you're doing with the gun and the material. Could I do it? Hell, yeah, in a manner I would be willing to stand behind for life against material defects, and customer satisfaction to boot.
The fact that you say the shop says they need to clear the whole car to prevent "burn through" makes me wonder who the hell is running the buffer? How deep is the clear? Three coats of clear and proper usage of the buffer and there's no way in hell you should burn through, even right out to a sharp edge, if you know what you're doing with the tool, the compound, and using the right buffing pads. Or are they worried about burn through with the sandpaper? If that's the case, that's an excuse to seperate someone from his money as there are products on the market to scuff cured clear that don't even require sandpaper which are perfect for this kind of job. And the new clear will stick just as well. I have a few other thoughts on this, which truly, I just backtracked and deleted, as I don't really want to get into a pissing match with a shop I don't know and never heard of. But they aren't good thoughts.
Sorry, dude, they saw money walking in the door, sold you on the "right" way to do it, which is a good salesman's job, and have you believing that's the "only" way to do it. And trust me, some of the jobs I've done and are running around out there I know I'll be the only one to ever touch them, even though I'm not in business anymore, and I'm dreading the day I have to do just this very thing on them. I've always gone into a job with the idea of "this is what I'm doing today, now if this get's damaged five years down the line, I need to be able to take care of it, let's get it straight now how that will be done." Tri-coats, candies, blended clears, custom mixes, all of them logistical nightmares, but absolutely no freakin' reason to paint an entire car again just for one small scratch. And I'm the guy who stood there with the gun in his hand and laid down the original job.