The Wife and I

[stansblue72]

The older you are and the longer you have been married, the funnier this is...





The wife and I were sitting around the breakfast table one lazy Sunday morning...

I said to her, "If I were to die suddenly, I want you to immediately sell all my stuff."

"Now why would you want me to do something like that?" she asked.

"I figure that you would eventually remarry and I don't want some other asshole using my stuff."

She looked at me and said: "What makes you think I'd marry another asshole?"

 

[memike]

Hhahahahh So true!! Thank you I lmao

 

[MR.7DUSTER3]

You took the words right out of my wife's mouth

 

[rigrunner]

lol

 

[Mopar to ya]

That's pretty dang funny. People think it's easy being an asshole. It takes constant practice.

 

[Mopar to ya]

Oh yeah. It reminds me of Everybody Loves Raymond. Marie and Frank were talking. Marie says "We need to find you a new woman for after I die. I want you to be happy". Frank says, "Marie, when you die, I'll be happy enough"!

 

[340_dart_power]

A husband and wife were having breakfast one day and the discussion turned to their own mortality. The wife asker husband,
"If I would die before you, would you re-marry?"
"I don't know, honey", he replied; "If I met the right person, I probably would."
"Would you live here in our house with her?", she asked.
"Well, we probably would, since the house is almost paid for and in such a great location."
"Would she wear my jewelry?"
"Oh, I don't know", he said, "A woman's jewelry is such a personal item, I'd probably give your jewelry to our nieces as keepsakes to remind them of you."
"Would she wear my clothes?", she asked.
"No, I can't imagine she'd want to wear my dead wife's clothing."
"Would she drive my car?", the wife asked.
"Well, I'd probably keep your car, since it's paid for, and it's a newer model, so yes, she'd probably drive your car.", he explained.
"Would she use my golf clubs, too?", she asked.
"No, she's left handed."

 

[Tony Fields]

The older you are and the longer you have been married, the funnier this is...





The wife and I were sitting around the breakfast table one lazy Sunday morning...

I said to her, "If I were to die suddenly, I want you to immediately sell all my stuff."

"Now why would you want me to do something like that?" she asked.

"I figure that you would eventually remarry and I don't want some other asshole using my stuff."

She looked at me and said: "What makes you think I'd marry another asshole?"

That's some funny stuff right there!

 

[Tony Fields]

A husband and wife were having breakfast one day and the discussion turned to their own mortality. The wife asker husband,
"If I would die before you, would you re-marry"
"I don't know, honey", he replied; "If I met the right person, I probably would."
"Would you live here in our house with her?", she asked.
"Well, we probably would, since the house is almost paid for and in such a great location."
"Would she wear my jewelry?"
"Oh, I don't know", he said, "A woman's jewelry is such a personal item, I'd probably give your jewelry to our nieces as keepsakes to remind them of you."
"Would she wear my clothes?", she asked.
"No, I can't imagine she'd want to wear my dead wife's clothing."
"Would she drive my car?", the wife asked.
"Well, I'd probably keep your car, since it's paid for, and it's a newer model, so yes, she'd probably drive your car.", he explained.
"Would she use my golf clubs, too?", she asked.
"No, she's left handed."

ops:

 

[Arco440]

I'm reading these to my wife as she is leaving for work and these gave her a nice smile thanks guys...keep it coming...

 

[chasduster]

Rotfl