Wow Doogie, sorry to read this. Thoughts and prayers all around!
I have seen more than my share of these types of things in my lifetime and I will suggest you get some grief counseling. It will help. Time will certainly help in this matter too.
Unfortunately it will be with you forever, although our mind has a wonderful way of compartmentalizing it to help relieve the stress of it. The key is to face it, talk it out and move in a positive direction.