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Good Lord.... What have I done?

Everything is bigger in Texas.

:prayer::prayer::prayer::prayer::prayer:

I just started celebrating my 21st birthday 3 months early.

Lol, you probably hit the nail on the head.

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably...

Too funny. I have to wonder if it is actually common to see over there.

An older, balding, white haired, duck hunter from Northern Minnesota, walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and...

That is bad.... Lol

Parts? What parts? I didn't buy any more parts!! That UPS guy was just looking for directions when he carried those boxes to the garage.

It says black lab in the joke.

How many people say the same thing out many of our cars? The sad fact is that it is true.

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed...

A group of guys went on a deer hunt, NO one wanted to room with Bob, because his stupid atrocious snoring. It was decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns. Mike slept in Bob's room the first night. he comes to breakfast the next...

It would take sheep skin seat covers and this hanging from the rear view mirror to complete the package.

Health Warning! Do NOT shampoo in the shower DO NOT wash your hair in the shower!! It’s so good to finally get a health warning that is useful!!! IT INVOLVES THE SHAMPOO WHEN IT RUNS DOWN YOUR BODY WHEN YOU SHOWER WITH IT. WARNING TO US ALL!!! Shampoo Warning! I don’t know WHY I didn’t...

I found a stowaway Smurf hiding in the bacon box so I sent him back your way. He was going to pick up some of his buddies on the way back so get the garden ready. Nice meeting you too. Got to find some help to get the bacon box off the truck and in to the shop.

Ray, Since I met with you in Kansas yesterday, we know it did keep you awake driving there so let's hope it does its job on the way home.

Fantastic, that should keep you wide awake for the drive.

Ain't she a beaut? The say the girls get prettier at closing time but there can't be enough beer in the place for this one.

WOW, another one...

I sure would like to have that frame... Handicap ramp base just waiting.

Lol.

Scratch and sniff allowed before trade.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=RFCrJleggrI#t=0

That image is available on everything from coffee mugs to cell phone cases to hoodies. https://www.google.com/search?q=beautiful+dance+moves&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=UGDGU6bzFIPn8gHl7oHYDA&ved=0CBwQsAQ&biw=1280&bih=689

In many cases that is true.

"Common sense"..... Yeah right..... Make a spectacle out of yourself and not expect something to eventually come out of it.

HMMM... That didn't work out so well.... CCTV of Indian valet wrecking $500k Lamborghini - $332k of damage to supercar - YouTube

Too funny...