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More reliable, less maintenance, ain’t gonna leave you on the side of the road.

If there ever was something that made me want to give myself paper cuts on my eyeballs, that was it. A splash of alcohol for good measure too. Or Acetone

You called it a trouble light, I always knew it as a "Drop Light". How in the hell did it ever get called that? Should have been Don't Drop Light, or touch it or bump it, or anything but smell it. More accurately, small whatever was near it as it was incinerated.

I tell people all the time “ Say whatever you want, you can’t offend me, I used to hold the flashlight for my dad “

Where I grew up we had to walk past a sign about the same size on the way to the bus stop WARNING! This property protected with a 30-06 Trespassers WILL BE SHOT Survivors Prosecuted

When I'm dreaming, I don't really know that I'm dreaming until I start to wake.

My friends are so funny

But if there’s 23 flies on a table, there must be something there attracting them, so a good chance they’re all bunched together, so there’s a good chance you’re going to smoosh more than one

There won’t be 23 flies on any table of mine, I’ll spend 10 minutes chasing down a single one if it happens to get its filthy *** in my house.

A half

King Tut SNL

I went Sunday looking for a 7/16-20 Banjo bolt. Guy says sure, starts heading to the Dorman Help section. I don't protest yet,- I've been surprised at what the Help line has produced. He tries the bolt in the size checker dealio, and says its a 12mm. I said I doubt it, I'm working on a 68...

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You must be some kind of liberal, You spelled “you’re” and “too” correctly.

No, it might not be dead if it’s dogfish head

ANYTHING "ICE" when it comes to beer besides 'ice cold'...is ****. Ice cold is really only a necessity for most beers to numb your taste buds so its drinkable. Sure, I prefer a cold beer, but try drinking your beer once its “warm” ( & I mean out for a while warm, not cooled down dinner warm)...

Get him to learn about quality beers and beer styles. The differences between Lagers and Ales. Etc. I guess my buds and I talk about the past and some of the crap we drank, but back then there weren’t the options there are today.

Ihate that

Thinking of a tall wing on my dart. I’m thinking with the relatively flat trunk lid, this should work &not cost a fortune. Should match well with a cowl hood, what y’all think?

And he'd of gotten away with it too if it weren't for those meddling kids!

I hadn’t thought of that, but you’re right. I have figured out to say period after each thought, I just hope that one day it doesn’t come out while I’m conversating with somebody. (yes, I know that isn’t a word)

But I have slow down, read some stuff twice to try to decipher what you’re trying to say. And if someone uses absolutely no punctuation, and I twice need to try and figure out what they’re asking, then forget it, someone else can answer their question or offer advice.

These geniuses

William Shatner Covers Rocket Man

beat me by milliseconds If I hadn't added that 2nd line....

"Nothing Runs Like A Deer" Well,...except maybe this car

He’s such a nice guy, when they were out at the bar, I heard him ask if he could push in her stool.