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9:00 mark is where the gun starts.

Dominos Large 3 topping carryout for 7.99 Hand tossed, Ham, Bacon, Shredded Parmesan Asiago I used to order 2 large domino's pizza's every Saturday I worked for the shop. This 3 topping deal has been going on for a long time. Been through every different combination and the one listed above...

The problem I ran into is nothing that was being argued about would ever get resolved. More or less agreed to disagree. It made it so every argument was worse than the last. I would bring up problem A and she would bring up problem B,C,D,etc. That didn't happen. And if it did, it wasn't...

Guy gets a job in a bakery...boss comes in and see him with his false teeth on the counter....boss says”what the hell are you doing” ....guy says I use them for crimping the edges around the pies”....boss says “haven’t you got a tool”.....guy says “yeah but I use that for pokin holes in the donuts”

I was offered sex with a 21 year old girl today. In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a person with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available with...

A 6-year-old and a 4-year-old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 6-year-old. "I think it's about time we start cussing." The 4-year-old nods his head in approval. The 6-year-old continues. "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm going to say hell and you say ***." "OK!"...

Teacher asks her class, "If there's 14 crows on a fence and you shoot 2 off, how many are left ?" One little boy says, "None, the shotgun scared them all away." Teacher says, "That's not the answer I was looking for, but I like the way you're thinking." Boy says, "I have a question for you."...

My mom always told me you don't have a drinking problem until it starts causing problems.

i think its the big red X that does it. If they changed it to a red forman all would be well.

11,000 people watched my video hoping to fix there trunk switch. I had a left over micro switch from an old b&m shifter. Total jack job hahahaha. Anyway at least one person saw the humor. The rest sound pretty pissed off.

Have a customer named rong Carr. First time he tried to get an oil change a fellow coworker couldn't figure it out. What we picked up the wrong car. Hahaha

Hey man I like your hat. "Thanks. I got it across the street at the gas,grass,and hats store"

berenstain bears drug deal

4th of july is going to suck. Hopefully im out by my birthday

Say you kinda look like my ex. Do you want to hook up for old time sake?

Bone stock 1995 z71 goodyear duratrac tires

$60,000 http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/hnp/cto/3327384509.html

Took your advise and punched it up on Netflix. Thought I would have to wait a day or two but it was a Watch instantly movie. Brings back memories of The Dart when I first got it. Funny how pictures of you and your car don't seem like that long ago. I didn't have money to fix my car the last...