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Mopar Releases Heaps Of Christmas Gifts, Including An Ugly Holiday Sweater | Carscoops get yurs while supplies last

Johnstown, PA: Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported...

One evening a Husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!' His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply...

I'll bet the headrest is pretty comfortable.

[B]A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa , taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company. [/B] One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost.. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading...

One day my mommy was out, and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a gift, and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room reading the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just...

HOW IS NORMA? A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?" The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number of the patient?" The grandmother, in her...

When you could have this

THIS MAY COME AS A SURPRISE TO THOSE OF YOU NOT LIVING IN LAS VEGAS , BUT THERE ARE MORE CATHOLIC CHURCHES THAN CASINOS. NOT SURPRISINGLY, SOME WORSHIPERS AT SUNDAY SERVICES WILL GIVE CASINO CHIPS RATHER THAN CASH WHEN THE BASKET IS PASSED. SINCE THEY GET CHIPS FROM MANY...

Did You Know This About Leather Dresses?Do you know that when a woman wears a leather dress, a man's heart beats quicker, his throat gets dry, he gets weak in the knees, and he begins to think irrationally??? Ever wonder why?It's because she...

Twas just before Christmas when I took the Dart out She left the stop sign with a roar her tires sang out But just down the road there came such a clatter I had to slow down thought the engine might shatter Limped her home slowly and said with a shout Get the 360 ready the 318 is coming out!!!

Can you spot the impostor?

ooppsss

From Larry the Redneck 1. A day without sunshine is like night. 2.. On the other hand, you have different fingers. 3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 5. Remember, half the people you know are below average...

Check this out the 2nd pic shows how scary it is.

http://llerrahmusic.com/viewcard.php?code=236079

Works every time

You wouldn't want to miss this event

Can Cold Water Clean Dishes? This is for all the germ-conscious folks that worry about using cold water to clean. John went to visit his 90-year-old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area. However, John noticed a film-like substance on his plate, and asked his grandfather, 'Are these...

Football FINALLY makes sense.......... A guy took his > blonde girlfriend to her > first football game. They had great seats right behind > their team's bench. > After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. > > "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, > "especially the > tight pants...

An Atheist Professor of Philosophy was speaking to his Class on the problem Science has with GOD , the ALMIGHTY. He asked one of his New Christian Students to stand and . . ... Professor: You are a Christian, aren't you, son? Student: Yes, sir... Professor: So, you Believe in...

I was looking thru a hotrod hardware gift book and they have a alum stick with shift ball that you mount on the floor next to the toilet so you can practice shifting while taking a dump. They also have a stromberg 97 carb coffee mug I want.

If you have an itch,scratch it!!!

Keep these dogs away from your kids!!! For the dogs sake of course

A Florida couple, both well into their 80's, go to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asks, 'What can I do for you?' The man says, 'Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?'The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he...

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Check out this feline

> Dear Mom & Dad > Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in > case you saw the flood on TV and are worried. We are okay. > Only one of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. > Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on > the mountain looking for...

FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.. He is at the Pearly Gates , met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper. St. Peter said, 'Well, Forrest , it is certainly good...

LAST YEAR I REPLACED ALL THE WINDOWS IN MY HOUSE WITH THAT EXPENSIVE DOUBLE-PANE ENERGY EFFICIENT KIND, AND TODAY, I GOT A CALL FROM THE CONTRACTOR WHO INSTALLED THEM. HE WAS COMPLAINING THAT THE WORK HAD BEEN COMPLETED A WHOLE YEAR AGO AND I STILL HADN'T PAID FOR THEM...