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A blonde is showing off her new tattoo of a giant seashell on her inner thigh. Her friends ask her why she would get such a tattoo and in that location. She responds, 'It's really cool. If you put your ear up against it, you can smell the ocean.'

Didn't see that one coming, LOL!!:toothy10:

All good ones, thanks:cheers:

Yeah thats what I thought when I just read them in an email, heard a couple of them before but thought they were worth reading again!

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have...

Billy Bob Gates.....too funny!!!

A blonde city girl marries a Colorado rancher. One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy, "The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above the cow's stall in the barn. You show him where the...

A young woman had been taking golf lessons. She had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for help and to complain. Her golf pro saw her come into the clubhouse and asked, 'Why...

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 25 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 2.5 gallons. So he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde...

The Sierra Club and the U.S. Forest Service were presenting an alternative to Wyoming ranchers for controlling the coyote population. It seems that after years of the ranchers using the tried and true methods of shooting and/or trapping the predators, the tree-huggers had a "more humane"...

Mick met Paddy in the street and said, 'Paddy, will you draw your bedroom curtains before making love to your wife in future?' 'Bejaysus Why?' Paddy asked. 'Because,' said Mick, 'the whole street was laughing when they saw you making love yesterday.' Paddy said, 'Stupid bastards...

Here's The maths on the Paul McCartney-Heather Mills divorce is as follows: After 5 years of marriage, he paid her $49 million. Assuming he got sex every night during their 5 year relationship (which would NOT have happened!) it ended up costing him $26,849 per time. On...

Yep your right that was pretty crude but I couldn't help but laugh:happy10:

Ewwww the dingy gray carpet sounds nasty!!!:munky2:

Thanks for the laughs:cheers:

Subject: Fw: May30th. $100 rebate A MESSAGE TO THE PUBLIC OF BRITISH COLUMBIA The provincial government is sending each and every one of us a $100 rebate for the carbon tax. If we spend that money at WalMart, the money will go to the U.S. If we spend it on gas, it will go...

Lets hope for his sake he has fat fingers...LOL!!

A husband and wife came for counselling after 15 years of marriage... When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 15 years they had been married. She went on and on and on neglect, lack of intimacy...

Yep looked much like a Canadian variety of plant species...LOL

Thats one ugly pussy!!! WTH are they serious? If so that is to sad, suprised they had the brain cells to make the poster:munky2:

ANALyize......thats a good one LOL kinda like the ***-u-me thing,ha,ha, very clever.

Yuck, that was funny and gross all in one! Makes me think of the 40 yr old virgin movie when Andy's buddy hires him a hooker, turns out she's a dude,LOL:toothy10:

The Miracle of Toilet Paper Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror, complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me that it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion ... 'If you want your breasts to...

Thats probably an old one but I never heard it before, very good:cheers:

Very funny!!!!! I thought maybe he was gonna ask for a Mopar LOL!!

RECENT STUDY FOUND OUT WHICH DAYS MEN PREFER TO HAVE SEX. IT WAS FOUND THAT MEN PREFERRED TO ENGAGE IN SEXUAL ACTIVITY ON THE DAYS THAT STARTED WITH THE LETTER "T". EXAMPLES TUESDAY THURSDAY TODAY TOMORROW THANKSGIVING THATURDAY THUNDAY ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A...

 Guts or Balls... There is a medical distinction. We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below: GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out...

Ouch, thats gotta hurt!! I guess us north americans should stop our whining LOL.:munky2:

Not really sure how this turned into a gas $$$ thread, LOL!! I think it was just to show off your new fiver down south? Oh well, I like the looks of your "newer" U.S. bills, beats the old green ones that all looked the same to us dumb Canucks!! Now you just need to get rid of those one dollar...

Where's the a-body guys from Sweden and Finland, not to mention the U.K., I think they are at around $6 per gallon!!! Hey I don't think I have to ask but what do you other guys from B.C. think of the Liberals and their dumb *** "carbon tax"??? Another kick the little guys in the *** tax if ya...