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I saw a Muslim fall into the lake early this morning and being a responsible citizen, I informed the emergency services. It's now 6:00 PM and they still haven't responded! Now I'm starting to think that I've wasted a stamp.

Sorry bout the caps. Got it like this in an email and I'm too lazy to change it:bootysha: DO YOU KNOW THE FRONT FROM THE BACK OF A TREE? A REDNECK FROM GEORGIA DECIDES TO TRAVEL ACROSS THE SOUTH TO VIRGINIA TO SEE GOD'S COUNTRY. WHEN HE GETS TO FRANKLIN , HE LIKES THE PLACE SO MUCH...

Foul language but funny as hell:snakeman: http://natebloch.com/

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night? The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a...

For all of you who frequent restaurants and understand the need for the service to be faster, this short story is a timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference to an organization. Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant and noticed that the waiter who took our...

Funny vid I got in an email8) Wouldn't want to try it on my 440 though.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0DIl1f073s

Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air, and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this, she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a supervisor in the human resources department and asks to file...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MApJnyk1PV8

A guy runs a stop sign and gets caught by a policeman.. Cop says, "License and registration, please." Guy says, "What for?" Cop says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign." Guy says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming." Cop says, "You still didn't come to a complete...

To my friend who enjoys a glass of wine.. . and those who don't. As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 litre of water each day...

This one made me LMAO http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iFInViTkLoU&feature=PlayList&p=5A8C297D5D5FA4A3&playnext=1&index=80

Got it in an email. Don't know if it's for real, but it made me think of Cudaspaz:-D To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah ) I was the white guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend...

Nokia has finally designed a cell phone exclusively for people who need to make a cell phone call while visiting in Baltimore, Norfolk, Charlotte, Cincinnati, East Saint Louis, Memphis, Philadelphia, South Chicago, St Petersburg, Tampa, South Dallas, Houston, L.A., Miami, Detroit...

A man and a woman who had never met before, but who were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in...

A woman visited her plastic surgeon who told her about a new procedure Called 'The Knob,' where a small knob is placed at the top of the woman's Head and could be turned to tighten up her skin and produce the effect of a Brand new face-lift. Of course, the woman wanted 'The Knob.' Over...

A VERY ugly man walks into the bar with a big grin on his face and orders a draft beer. 'What are you so happy about?' asks the barman. 'Well, I'll tell you,' replies the ugly man. 'You know, I live by the railroad tracks. Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to...

Another email I thought I'd share. Sorry to my Canadian friends:toothy10: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsxV49pmnL8

Recently I was asked to play in a golf tournament. At first I said, "Naaahhh! I already play 5 times a week." Then they said to me "Come on, it's for handicapped and blind kids." Then I thought... ****, I could win this.

Three male Labradors , one chocolate, one yellow and one black were sitting in a waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a conversation. The black Lab turned to the brown Lab and said, 'So why are you here?' The brown Lab replied, 'I'm a urinator. I urinate on everything.... the...

Got emailed this link, wanted to share with my fellow gun nuts:-D http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1N8U49OOSA

Got this emailed to me. Seem familiar to any of my city dwelling friends? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUyAXeHQ-VU

I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to the currency exchange window at the local bank Short line. Just one lady in front of me . . an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and she was a little irritated . . She asked the teller, 'Why it...

Got emailed this link. Smart dog! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sj7h9zKhPeY

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. 'You all have obsessions,' he observed. To the first mother, Mary, he said, 'You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy.' He turned to the second Mom, Ann: 'Your...

Sorry for the caps. Just copied and pasted it because I type so damn slow:bootysha: A COWBOY, WHO IS VISITING WYOMING FROM TEXAS , WALKS INTO A BAR AND ORDERS THREE MUGS OF BUD. HE SITS IN THE BACK OF THE ROOM, DRINKING A SIP OUT OF EACH ONE IN TURN. WHEN HE FINISHES THEM, HE COMES BACK...

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!' The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?' 'Doesn't matter,' she...

How Cool Were You In High School? This is a pretty cool test, check it out. This test is based on how cool you were in High School--what crowd you ran with, etc., it's pretty accurate. You may want to send it to your friends to see if they've changed. LET'S SEE IF YOU ARE A COOL...

Kinda long, but it made me chuckle. Thought I'd share:fart: Sorry if it's been posted before:bootysha: ONLY A MAN CAN APPRECIATE THIS! THEN AGAIN, WOMEN EAT CHILI, TOO. I went grocery shopping recently while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one. You see, the...

A driver is stuck in a traffic jam going into downtown Chicago . Nothing is moving north or south. Suddenly a man knocks on his window.. The driver rolls down his window and asks, 'What happened, what's the hold Up?' 'Terrorists have kidnapped Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Oprah Winfrey...

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat, and among other liberal ideals, was very much in favor of higher taxes to support more government programs, in other words, redistribution of wealth...