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  1. CudaChick1968

    Men and Earrings

    Did you ever wonder why wearing earrings became so popular with men? A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense." The man walks...
  2. CudaChick1968

    Teaching the Natives .......

    A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives. While packing up his belongings for the trip home, he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English. He takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He...
  3. CudaChick1968

    Drinking & Driving (relax, it's a joke)

    I would like to share an experience with you that has to do with drinking and driving. As you know, some of us have had brushes with the authorities over the years. The other night I was out for dinner with a few friends. After consuming too much wine, and knowing full well that I was wasted...
  4. CudaChick1968

    Now in Paperback!!!

    Understanding Women ... Volume I
  5. CudaChick1968

    Hunting Game ... only guys could think this up

    Since rainy days just suck, I'm going to try posting this. I got this in an email from Motopsycho and it was definitely worth sharing!!! It takes a few moments to open ... good thing too, so you can swallow whatever you're drinking rather than shoot it out your nose...
  6. CudaChick1968

    Ear Infection ...

    There's nothing worse than a doctor's receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it. A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached...
  7. CudaChick1968

    All I need to know I learned from the Easter Bunny!

    Saw this and thought it was kinda cute. • Don't put all your eggs in one basket. • Everyone needs a friend who is all ears. • There's no such thing as too much candy. • All work and no play can make you a basket case. • A cute tail attracts a lot of attention. • Everyone is entitled to...
  8. CudaChick1968

    Hilarious Truck Commercial

    You think you've got a 'real' truck??? It doesn't even come close to this ........ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4bJsIogkGk
  9. CudaChick1968

    Forgot my glasses

    Yesterday my daughter asked why I didn't do something useful with my time. She suggested I go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys. I did, and when I got home last night I told her that I had joined a parachute club. She said "Are you nuts? You're almost 75 years old and...
  10. CudaChick1968

    Something you never think about ...

    ... such as Mt. Rushmore from the Canadian side:
  11. CudaChick1968

    Computer Keyboard for Retired Men

    Figured you guys would get a kick out of this one ...
  12. CudaChick1968

    Rust and Smoke ... VERY FUNNY Chevy Song

    I hope the link works. This is GREAT!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5VnNlkAtk0&feature=related
  13. CudaChick1968

    MENSA Invitational

    The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners: 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject...
  14. CudaChick1968

    Olympic Swimmer?

    A man met a beautiful blonde lady and decided he wanted to marry her right away. She said, 'But we don't know anything about each other..' He said, 'That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along.' So she consented, they were married, and off they went on a honeymoon at a...
  15. CudaChick1968

    A Little Halloween Humor

    A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies: 'I have a question to ask, but I don't want to offend you.' She answers, 'My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I...
  16. CudaChick1968

    Toyota Test Drive

    I stopped by the Toyota Dealership yesterday for a look at the new Tacoma. Just for fun, I took it out for a test drive. I wanted to sense that new "feel" before they become extinct. The salesman -- wearing an Obama "change" lapel pin -- sat in the passenger seat describing the truck and all...
  17. CudaChick1968

    A Sensitive Man ...

    The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurance to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy. She said "ladies...
  18. CudaChick1968

    The Blonde Road Painter

    A blonde who had been unemployed for several months got a job with Public Works. Her assignment was to paint lines down the center of a rural road. The supervisor told her that she was on probation and that she must stay at or above the set average of 2 miles per day to remain employed. The...
  19. CudaChick1968

    Best Pick Up Line?

    A Texas cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then causally looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?" "No", he replies, "I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I...
  20. CudaChick1968

    Just Fred

    A cop stops a guy on a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name. 'Fred,' he replies. 'Fred what?' the officer asks. 'Just Fred,' the man responds. The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break and, write him...
  21. CudaChick1968

    The Deaf Bookkeeper

    A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Enzo, has cheated him out of 10 million bucks. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Enzo would hear nothing that he might have to testify about in court. When the Godfather goes to...
  22. CudaChick1968

    Twitter ... LOL

    I thought about the 30 year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a Blackberry that played music, took videos, pictures and communicated with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids...
  23. CudaChick1968

    The New Quarterback

    The coach put together the perfect team for the Oakland Raiders. The only thing missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer that would ensure a Super Bowl win. Then one night while watching CNN, the...
  24. CudaChick1968

    The Lion Tamer (** somewhat suggestive **)

    A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a gorgeous blonde in her mid-twenties, and the other an old retired Navy Captain in his early seventies. The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so...
  25. CudaChick1968

    Murder at WalMart

    Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed. A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious...
  26. CudaChick1968

    Classy Insults

    Classy Insults "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow "He has never been known to use a word...
  27. CudaChick1968

    The Dark Side of Women

    The Dark Side of Women A woman was in town on a shopping trip. She began her day by finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale in the second. In the third, everything her size had just been reduced by 50 percent when her mobile phone rang. It was a...
  28. CudaChick1968

    Garfield Explains the Oil Situation

    A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in our country. ~~~ Well, there's a very simple answer. ~~~ Nobody bothered to check the oil. ~~~ We just didn't know we were getting low. ~~~ The reason for that is purely geographical. ~~~ Our oil is located...
  29. CudaChick1968

    Dinner

    A group of 40-year-old girlfriends discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally, it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the waiters there were good looking and had buff bodies. 10 years later at 50 years of age, the group once again discussed...
  30. CudaChick1968

    Little Firefighter

    A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a firefighter's helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and...
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