Search results for query: *

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably...

An older, balding, white haired, duck hunter from Northern Minnesota, walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and...

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed...

A group of guys went on a deer hunt, NO one wanted to room with Bob, because his stupid atrocious snoring. It was decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns. Mike slept in Bob's room the first night. he comes to breakfast the next...

Health Warning! Do NOT shampoo in the shower DO NOT wash your hair in the shower!! It’s so good to finally get a health warning that is useful!!! IT INVOLVES THE SHAMPOO WHEN IT RUNS DOWN YOUR BODY WHEN YOU SHOWER WITH IT. WARNING TO US ALL!!! Shampoo Warning! I don’t know WHY I didn’t...

Ain't she a beaut? The say the girls get prettier at closing time but there can't be enough beer in the place for this one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=RFCrJleggrI#t=0

HMMM... That didn't work out so well.... CCTV of Indian valet wrecking $500k Lamborghini - $332k of damage to supercar - YouTube

....

It would of had to hurt but if the pig didn't get captured again it was a good day. YouTube

Now the county sues the buyer to get it back. This has to be government efficiency at its finest. http://www.okcfox.com/story/25684579/county-sues-to-get-back-fire-dept-it-sold-for-100 New deed to property. http://www.okcfox.com/link/698711/cedar-lake-fire-station-deed

Free to good home. "My girlfriend doesn't like my dog, so I appeal to you. She is a purebred from a wealthy area and I have had her 4 years. She likes to play games. Not totally trained. Has long hair so she's a little high maintenance, especially the nails, but she loves having them...

If he still has a job, he will never live this one down. http://youtu.be/4i_GFrlaStQ

Man texts alleged scammer entire works of William Shakespeare A graphic designer in England who says he got ripped off by an internet user is getting his revenge by sending him thousands of text messages. Edd Joseph told the Telegraph that he spent £80 ($130) on a Playstation 3 on Gumtree, a...

Free snowman, assembly required. Pieces are laying around the yard. You haul and assemble at your location.

Mailman Battles Angry Cat While Attempting to Deliver Mail - YouTube

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation in Jerusalem. While they were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can have her buried here in the Holy Land for $150 or we can have her shipped back home for $5,000. The husband thought about it and told the...

The U.S. government has just passed a new law entitled “The Affordable CAR Act” declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new car by April, 2014. These ‘affordable’ cars will cost an average of $54,000-$155,000 each. This does not include taxes, tags, registration, fuel, maintenance, or...

COCKS or CLOCKS? Wrong on two counts.... Fall is turn your clocks back. I recon it must be party time at the fire department.....

Do you fart in bed? If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and I’ll pray for you. This is a story about a couple who had been hap...pily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning...

A woman from Los Angeles who was a tree hugging, liberal Democrat and an anti-hunter purchased a piece of timberland near Colville, WA . There was a large tree ...on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big...

The Marijuana State of Colorado Is Selling More Hostess Twinkies Than The Rest of The 49 States Combined DENVER - The distributing company for Hostess Twinkies has just announced that the Rocky Mountain state of Colorado sells more Twinkies than the rest of the 49 states combined. Ellen...

Who Wears the Pants? Jack was going to be married to Jill, so his father sat him down for a little fireside chat. "Jack, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants and handed them to your mother, and said, "Here, try these on." So, she...

An Arizona Highway Patrol officer stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name. 'Fred,' he replies. 'Fred what?' the officer asks. ... 'Just Fred,' the man responds. The officer is in a good mood, thinks he might just give the biker...

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday...

Those of us who spend much time in a doctor's office should appreciate this! Doesn't it seem more and more that physicians are running their practices like an assembly line? Here's what happened to Bubba: Bubba walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had...

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained...

A Mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl roommate. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty his roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only... made her more curious.... Over the course of...

Must read.... I borrowed this from a friends post.. Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. 'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' s...aid the teenager at the counter. 'You don't?' I...

Craigslist Idiot... Sack of happy happy joy joy - $25 (Sumner, ok) hey if u understand wat it means hit me up please be local don't be the authority and no snitches u reply leave no names and no surprises just a good ole fashion swap be on the low low no one needs to know need it tonight if...