Joke #1:
A young Texan grew up wanting to be a law man. He grew up big, 6' 2'', and
strong as a longhorn and fast as a mustang. He could shoot a bottle cap
tossed in the air at 40 paces. When he finally became of age he applied to
where he had only dreamed of working: the West Texas Sherriff's Department.
After a big mess of tests and interviews the Chief Deputy finally called him
into his office for the young man's last interview.
The Chief Deputy says: "You're a big strong kid and you can really shoot. So
far your qualifications all look good. But we have what you call an
'attitude suitability test' that you must take before you can be accepted.
We just don't let anyone carry our badge son."
Then, sliding a service pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, the Chief
says:
"Take this pistol and go out and shoot:
six illegal aliens,
six lawyers,
six meth dealers,
six Muslim extremists,
six democrats,
and a rabbit."
"Why the rabbit?"
"Great attitude. You pass." says the Chief Deputy. "When can you start?"
Joke #2:
On The Way To The Nymphomaniacs ConventionA man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. Lo and behold, she took the seat right beside his.
Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?"
She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs Convention in Chicago"
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"
"Lecturer," she responded. "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."
"Really!" he said. "What myths are those?"
"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that
African American men are the most well-endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Jewish descent. We have, however, found that the best potential lover in all categories is the Southern redneck."
Suddenly, the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing this with you. I don't even know your name."
"Tonto," the man said politely, "Tonto Goldstein. But my friends call me Bubba..."
A young Texan grew up wanting to be a law man. He grew up big, 6' 2'', and
strong as a longhorn and fast as a mustang. He could shoot a bottle cap
tossed in the air at 40 paces. When he finally became of age he applied to
where he had only dreamed of working: the West Texas Sherriff's Department.
After a big mess of tests and interviews the Chief Deputy finally called him
into his office for the young man's last interview.
The Chief Deputy says: "You're a big strong kid and you can really shoot. So
far your qualifications all look good. But we have what you call an
'attitude suitability test' that you must take before you can be accepted.
We just don't let anyone carry our badge son."
Then, sliding a service pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, the Chief
says:
"Take this pistol and go out and shoot:
six illegal aliens,
six lawyers,
six meth dealers,
six Muslim extremists,
six democrats,
and a rabbit."
"Why the rabbit?"
"Great attitude. You pass." says the Chief Deputy. "When can you start?"
Joke #2:
On The Way To The Nymphomaniacs ConventionA man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. Lo and behold, she took the seat right beside his.
Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?"
She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs Convention in Chicago"
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"
"Lecturer," she responded. "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."
"Really!" he said. "What myths are those?"
"Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that
African American men are the most well-endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Jewish descent. We have, however, found that the best potential lover in all categories is the Southern redneck."
Suddenly, the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing this with you. I don't even know your name."
"Tonto," the man said politely, "Tonto Goldstein. But my friends call me Bubba..."
