Best joke in the world

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SSVDP

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An Israeli doctor said: "Medicine is so advanced in Israel that we can cut off a man's testicles put them on another man and in 6 weeks he is looking for work."


The German doctor said: "That's nothing, in Germany we take part of a brain, put it in another man and in 4 weeks he is looking for work."


The Russian doctor said: "Gentlemen, we take half a heart from a man, put it in another's chest and in 2 weeks he is looking for work."


The American doctor laughed: "You all are behind us. Seven years ago we took a Muslim with no brains, no heart and no balls and made him President. Now, the whole damn country is looking for work!"


This joke actually won an award for the best joke in world competition, held in Britain!
 
Ok a black guy goes into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. the parrot says beer. The bartender brings him one then he does it again and again. finally the bar tender asks "where did you get him from" The bird replies Africa there are millions of em"

Guess I am sensored now
 
halifaxhops said:
Ok a black guy goes into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. the parrot says beer. The bartender brings him one then he does it again and again. finally the bar tender asks "where did you get him from" The bird replies Africa there are millions of em"

Guess I am sensored now
Click to expand...

If Africa can get more mosquito nets, it would save millions of mosquitoes from catching AIDS each year....
 
Did you hear that the Saudi Arabian Para-Olympic team is just a bunch of thieves????
 
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar....

One of them asks, "Is this a joke???"
 
A Zebra dies and goes to heaven - as he gets to the Pearly Gates he sees Saint Peter and says "wait wait, there is some thing I need to know before I go to the great beyond - am I white with black stripes or black with white stripes?" Saint Peter rubs his chin and replies "humm, I do not know, you will need to ask the Great One" - he points to a stairway and bids the zebra to go hither.
When the zebra reaches the top of the stairs he is greeted by the Great One who says "Zebra, what is it you wish to know?" "Well..", says the zebra, "I have always wondered - am I white with black stripes or black with white stripes?" - - the Great One bellows down to the zebra "You are what you are - now be gone!"
When the zebra gets back to the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter sees him and excitedly asks "So zebra, what did the Great One tell you!?" "eh.." says the zebra, "he said - you are what you are". "Oh that's fantastic.." says Saint Peter "so you're white with black stripes!". The zebra says "what.. how do you know..?" "Because..." says Saint Peter, "..if you were black with white stripes he would have said you is what you is.."
 
If there had been a mix-up, my uncle could have been the next president...

He's an undertaker in the Army... Or "barrack embalmer"....
 
Speaking of walking into a bar...

walk into a bar.jpg
 
My sister has hay fever, and just found out that she's diabetic...

I tried to cheer her up and sent flowers and chocolate....
 
ScampMike said:
A Zebra dies and goes to heaven - as he gets to the Pearly Gates he sees Saint Peter and says "wait wait, there is some thing I need to know before I go to the great beyond - am I white with black stripes or black with white stripes?" Saint Peter rubs his chin and replies "humm, I do not know, you will need to ask the Great One" - he points to a stairway and bids the zebra to go hither.
When the zebra reaches the top of the stairs he is greeted by the Great One who says "Zebra, what is it you wish to know?" "Well..", says the zebra, "I have always wondered - am I white with black stripes or black with white stripes?" - - the Great One bellows down to the zebra "You are what you are - now be gone!"
When the zebra gets back to the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter sees him and excitedly asks "So zebra, what did the Great One tell you!?" "eh.." says the zebra, "he said - you are what you are". "Oh that's fantastic.." says Saint Peter "so you're white with black stripes!". The zebra says "what.. how do you know..?" "Because..." says Saint Peter, "..if you were black with white stripes he would have said you is what you is.."
Click to expand...

How fast does a zebra have to run to look gray????
 
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