4flats
Well-Known Member
A disturbing study on beer consumption
Disturbing study about beer
- Thread starter 4flats
- Start date
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needsaresto
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Nov 13, 2004
- Messages
- 7,603
- Reaction score
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Thats why I dont drink.Got enough drama round here already.
Five pints make me a happy fellow :-D Ten would make me forget who I am... to much of anything is bad for ya.
I would rather drink a cold beer then a sugared up soft drink, heck I drink more water then I do anything. so I guess I am good to go :cheers:
I would rather drink a cold beer then a sugared up soft drink, heck I drink more water then I do anything. so I guess I am good to go :cheers:
If I had to wear a hat like that I'd drink to much beer too!
LMAO, Good one :-D
catsncudas
Moparholic
The answer is "BEER". What was the question again?
340_dart_power
Well-Known Member
Lmao
MOBodyman
Well-Known Member
Well, you guys haven't read and followed the troubleshooting guide. :-D:-D
The first line describes the symptoms of beer related problems.
The second line (or A and B) describe the cause (or causes).
The last line describes the corrective action that needs to be taken.
SYMPTOM
CAUSE
CORRECTIVE ACTION
Feet cold and wet
Glass Being held at incorrect angle.
Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling
Feet warm and wet
Improper Bladder Control
Stand next to nearest dog, complain about lack of house training
Beer unusually pale and tasteless
a. Glass empty.
B. You're holding a Coors Lite
Get someone to buy you another beer
Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights
You have fallen over backward.
Have yourself lashed to bar
Mouth contains cigarette butts, back of head covered with ashes
You have fallen forward
See above
Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet
a. Mouth not open
B. Glass applied to wrong part of face
Retire to restroom, practice in mirror
Floor Blurred
You are looking through bottom of empty glass
Get someone to buy you another beer
Floor moving
You are being carried out
Find out if you are being taken to another bar
Room seems unusually dark
Bar has closed
Confirm home address with bartender. If staff have gone, grab a six-pack to go and hit the nearest fire escape door. Run
Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures
Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations
Cover mouth, open window, stick head outside
Everyone looks up to you and smiles
You are dancing on the table
Fall on someone cushy-looking
Beer is crystal-clear
It's water! Somebody is trying to sober you up
Punch him
People are standing around urinals, talking or putting on makeup
You're in the ladies' room
Do not use urinal! Excuse yourself, exit and try the next door down the hall. Try to get phone numbers (optional)
Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear
You have been in a fight
Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them
Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in
You've wandered into the wrong party
See if they have free beer
Your bedroom is painted grey, has a concrete floor and an interesting steel door. Toilet may be conveniently located next to your bunk
a. You're in jail
B. You're in the navy
Sleep it off, you can always get out tomorrow. Don't talk to your new roommate, and under no circumstances sleep on your stomach
You are dancing to a Village People song, and your partner is wearing leather chaps
You're in a gay bar
Keeping your back to the wall, edge toward nearest exit. Do not accept offers for back rubs
Your singing sounds distorted
The beer is too weak
Have more beer until your voice improves
Don't remember the words to the song
Beer is just right
Play air guitar
The first line describes the symptoms of beer related problems.
The second line (or A and B) describe the cause (or causes).
The last line describes the corrective action that needs to be taken.
SYMPTOM
CAUSE
CORRECTIVE ACTION
Feet cold and wet
Glass Being held at incorrect angle.
Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling
Feet warm and wet
Improper Bladder Control
Stand next to nearest dog, complain about lack of house training
Beer unusually pale and tasteless
a. Glass empty.
B. You're holding a Coors Lite
Get someone to buy you another beer
Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights
You have fallen over backward.
Have yourself lashed to bar
Mouth contains cigarette butts, back of head covered with ashes
You have fallen forward
See above
Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet
a. Mouth not open
B. Glass applied to wrong part of face
Retire to restroom, practice in mirror
Floor Blurred
You are looking through bottom of empty glass
Get someone to buy you another beer
Floor moving
You are being carried out
Find out if you are being taken to another bar
Room seems unusually dark
Bar has closed
Confirm home address with bartender. If staff have gone, grab a six-pack to go and hit the nearest fire escape door. Run
Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures
Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations
Cover mouth, open window, stick head outside
Everyone looks up to you and smiles
You are dancing on the table
Fall on someone cushy-looking
Beer is crystal-clear
It's water! Somebody is trying to sober you up
Punch him
People are standing around urinals, talking or putting on makeup
You're in the ladies' room
Do not use urinal! Excuse yourself, exit and try the next door down the hall. Try to get phone numbers (optional)
Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear
You have been in a fight
Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them
Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in
You've wandered into the wrong party
See if they have free beer
Your bedroom is painted grey, has a concrete floor and an interesting steel door. Toilet may be conveniently located next to your bunk
a. You're in jail
B. You're in the navy
Sleep it off, you can always get out tomorrow. Don't talk to your new roommate, and under no circumstances sleep on your stomach
You are dancing to a Village People song, and your partner is wearing leather chaps
You're in a gay bar
Keeping your back to the wall, edge toward nearest exit. Do not accept offers for back rubs
Your singing sounds distorted
The beer is too weak
Have more beer until your voice improves
Don't remember the words to the song
Beer is just right
Play air guitar
67DartGT340
Well-Known Member
An Ice Cold Beer on a warm day, heck any day is the nectar of the Gods! If God just would have given Adam a beer all would have worked out well.
rapidtransit340
Well-Known Member
Even on a cold day.
Just need something heavier.
Just need something heavier.
megajoltman
Time to NUT UP or SHUT UP
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