"Jesus is watching"

[Frankie]

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said,
'Jesus knows you're here.

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.
When he heard nothing more , after a bit, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard

'Jesus is watching you.

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice

Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

Did you say that?'he hissed at the parrot.

Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you.'

The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'
'Moses, replied the bird.

'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'

'The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'

 

[Small Block]

That's a cute one Frankie.
Small Block

 

[Poppabear]

I liked that one

 

[Randy WM]

A little old lday came home from church one evening and surprised a man burglarizing her house. As loud as she could, she shouted "ACTS 2:38!!!" (Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins.)

The burglar dropped to the floor to tne fetal position and begged her not to kill him. When the police arrived, he was still cowering on the floor, almost sobbing.

Curious, one of the officers asked why he was so afraid of a little old lady.
"'Cause man, she got the drop on me with an axe and two 38s!"