Minnesota computer guide

[abdywgn]

Minnesota Computer Terminology​

Here's a Minnesota Guide to Computer Lingo

LOG ON: making da vood stove hotter

LOG OFF: don't add no more vood

MONITOR: keep an eye on da vood stove

MEGAHERTZ: vhen da big log drops on your barefoot in da morning

FLOPPY DISK: vhat you get from pilingk too much vood

RAM: da hydraulic thing dat makes da voodsplitter vork

HARD DRIVE: getting home during most of da vinter

PROMPT: vhat ya vish da mail vas during da snow season

ENTER: come on in

WINDOWS: vhat ya shut vhen it gets below zero

SCREEN: vhat you gotta fix on da windows during black fly season

CHIP: vhat ya munch during Vikings games

MICROCHIP: vhat's left in da bag vhen da chips are gone

MODEM: vhat ya did to da hay fields last Yuly

DOT MATRIX: Eino Matrix's wife

LAPTOP: vhere da grandkids sit

KEYBOARD: vhere ya suppose to hang da keys so da Misses can find em

SOFTWARE: da plastic picnic utensils, ya?

MOUSE: vhat leaves dem little turds in da cupboard

MAINFRAME: da part of da sauna dat holds up da roof

PORT: vhere da commercial fishin guys tie up dere boats

DOCKING STATION: da same as PORT

RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: vhen ya can't remember how much ya spent on da new deer rifle vhen da wife asks about it

 

[missing linc]

 

[ProjectBazza]

RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: vhen ya can't remember how much ya spent on da new deer rifle vhen da wife asks about it

As a native Minnesotan I just have to say,

Nailed it!

Also, with regards to the last item quoted above, reminds me of a local talk-radio guy who used to talk about "The Three Prices of Everything":
1. The price you paid for something.
2. The price you told her you paid for it.
3. The price you're gonna pay when she finds out how much you really paid for it!

Many Thanks to Joe Soucheray and the old "Garage Logic" radio show.