My first child

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BTYM

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The wife and I are expecting our first child in October. We found out Superbowl Sunday. At first, I wasn't really that worried. We've been together 6 years, married almost 2 years. We each have decent jobs. We bought our first house a couple of months ago. Everything seems to be fine. We kind of went the traditional route, Marriage, careers, house, kids... But lately, whether it's the hormones or not I have no idea, my wife has been making me nervous as heck. She seems to think we have to sell every worldly possession we own to be able to afford a baby. Now, I'm no idiot, I realize kids aren't cheap, but I just can't figure out where she's getting her numbers from. We don't plan on buying formula, so there's some money saved right there. We've been stocking up on diapers since we found out, granted we don't have enough to last us until potty training, but it still helps. Babies grow fast, so maybe new clothes every couple months, but newborns don't need Nike's, and Tommy Hilfigure jeans... We have a stroller, it came with the house. Our friends are giving us some of their old baby stuff, crib, high chair, etc... I just don't get it. She's actually driving me bonkers lol. Any of you guys with kids have any advice? It can't be that expensive, but then again, what do I know, I've never had a kid before. Every time I go to order a part or a tool, my wife jumps my arse lol. I suppose I should try to put some of that stuff on the backburner until she calms down, but working on the car calms me down so there's gotta be some kind of compromise.
 
Tell mama that kids don't become expensive until they get to be about 6 or 7 years old.
Before that, provided you aren't trying to impress someone, you already have all you need.
Hardest part for me was tip toe-ing around the house when he slept so I didn't wake him!
You guys will do fine, and congratulations.

George
 
How can you stock up on diapers till they start potty training? they come in different sizes and the kids grow. How do you know how many of each size to get before they will grow out of them?

It's best to buy them as they grow....

Same with clothes.

We had 2 boys. One was born in July, the other six years later in October. They were not the same size at the same season for the clothes to fit... IE summer clothes, winter clothes... They were "out of synch" with the seasons because they were born at different times of the year from each other and may grow at different rates...

If you "jump the gun" and buy too many things up front, then you may get stuck with some things that you never needed.
 
She's nesting, brother!!!! It too shall pass! My wife and I had our first (maybe one and only, as I am 45) about 9 months ago! It is all natural and happens as their instincts and hormones tell them to get the house ready for the arrival of your new little bundle of joy! We decided it would be best to have my wife stay home with Josie for the first 4-5 years to keep her out of daycare. Fortunately we are blessed to be able to afford to do this!

Careful on buying too many diapers ahead of time. You will find a brand that fits the best and probably stick with them. They are not all created equal and you can have blowouts! LOL!

Clotheswise, if you are like us, we love yard sales and second hand stores. Kids clothes can be had for a fraction of the cost at these places and they do grow out of them quickly!

I have been a little hesitant in buying big ticket items for the garage and car, so I know it will take a little longer to get the Duster on the road, but so be it! I tend to use my bonuses from work for these purposes and cash I generate from selling some of my extra parts. My priorities have changed and I cannot tell you how much fun it is to have a child in my life! I thought that boat had sailed in my life, but God had other plans!
 
Shop for the cloths at garage sales and goodwill.

My daughter had so many cloths that people gave us that some she never wore or my mom would buy at garage sales or goodwill with the tags still on them.

They grow so quick and really don't wear them out.

Yes they are expensive, but spend your money wisely on them.

Many say the older strollers, high chairs and cribs are not safe, well in my opinion is the people with the kids that get hurt in them probably shouldn't have had children.

Look how many of us survived sleeping in the package shelf of a car, sitting in the back of station wagons, not wearing a bike helmet or seat belts

They don't come with owners manuals, but some common sense goes a long way.

Good luck
 
not to rain on your parade but be cautious about not planning to buy formula
not every woman can produce breastmilk and not every baby can properly latch on even if there is milk to be had

I wholeheartedly hope this wont be the case with your family but it is a lot more common then people think (my wife works at a pediatric office so that's where I get my knowledge from) and it can be a real trigger in the whole baby bleus deal so keep your eye out for that and be supportive
 
diymirage said:
not to rain on your parade but be cautious about not planning to buy formula
not every woman can produce breastmilk and not every baby can properly latch on even if there is milk to be had

I wholeheartedly hope this wont be the case with your family but it is a lot more common then people think (my wife works at a pediatric office so that's where I get my knowledge from) and it can be a real trigger in the whole baby bleus deal so keep your eye out for that and be supportive
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My wife tried breast feeding once. After that, we bought Similac With Iron for the rest of his infancy.

:D
 
almost forgot, does your or her insurance have the option of a medical savings account ?
because the delivery will cost you a good chunk of change and that is the one thing you cant get at goodwill ;)

so save up for that or at least call them afterwards to set up a payment plan
when our daughter was born I called them and they set me up for $150.00 monthly payments
 
Of course the bride is fretting about everything, that's the way they're built!! Your first kid is always the toughest simply because you don't know what to expect, so your apprehension of the unknown is much greater! I can tell you though, that in the end it is much easier, and cheaper than you or the bride will expect it to be! You just watch and see how many of your friends will be giving you old clothes, baby stuff, car seats and everything else you may need!!

Focus on the bride and her needs and just keep your endeavors under wraps so to speak and you'll be fine! One thing that my Mom told me, and it rings so true, is that you are bringing another life into the world, that doesn't mean that you stop living yours!! Glad I listened and didn't sell my stuff like I thought I had to!!

Good luck "Dad"!! You'll love being called that!! Geof
 
If you think you already have enough diapers to get you through potty training, it is obvious it is your first child. LOL Buy your diapers as needed or go with a diaper service.

Two reasons not to stock up on diapers;
1. have to use all these diapers, so no reason to rush potty training. Don't want the kid starting school in diapers though.
2. As others said, each kid grows at his own pace. The smartest mathematician in the world couldn't calculate how many of each size diaper you will need.
 
Most women can breastfeed. It's not an easy thing to learn but I slogged through it with my first baby and it was well worth it, both in formula savings and health for the baby. Then my next three came along and I was a pro at it, lol.

Cloth diapers are cheap too. Much cheaper than disposables, even with a diaper service. And babies don't need a bunch of expensive clothes. Onsies and sleepers and socks. None of that fancy crap, they will just barf and poop on it anyway.

I have 4 teenagers and one of them is going through college. Think a baby is expensive? JUST WAIT. lol!
 
You will never be able to afford a kid! I have two 17 and 7. We didn't have the option marriage,job,house and kid. We were young and dumb. I was 17 and her 15. I got to she my wife with the sect kid due to the fact that lived together and married then with a 10 year old.
 
wildcat said:
shop for the cloths at garage sales and goodwill.

My daughter had so many cloths that people gave us that some she never wore or my mom would buy at garage sales or goodwill with the tags still on them.

They grow so quick and really don't wear them out.

Yes they are expensive, but spend your money wisely on them.

Many say the older strollers, high chairs and cribs are not safe, well in my opinion is the people with the kids that get hurt in them probably shouldn't have had children.

Look how many of us survived sleeping in the package shelf of a car, sitting in the back of station wagons, not wearing a bike helmet or seat belts

they don't come with owners manuals, but some common sense goes a long way.

Good luck
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x2
 
But lately, whether it's the hormones or not I have no idea, my wife has been making me nervous as heck. She seems to think we have to sell every worldly possession we own to be able to afford a baby.
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You nailed it!

Tell her to relax, as others have said you'll be surprised at what others will throw your way for the baby, buying slightly used clothes from second hand shops for everyday wear is the smart way to go, they grow out of them so quick.

My daughter suffered from "head in rear" syndrome and thought she had to buy everything new, until she finally figured out that, 1.) She couldn't afford it, 2.) It was pointless as the boy grew out of them so quickly.

Finally she started shopping at the second hand shops and couldn't believe the quality of some of the clothes she was finding at a fraction of the cost. The light bulb came on at that point.
 
It's not so bad, and in 20-25 years you can get back to your hobbies and toys again.

Feel better? :)

We have four, and the youngest is 22.
 
Bad Sport said:
You nailed it!

Tell her to relax, as others have said you'll be surprised at what others will throw your way for the baby, buying slightly used clothes from second hand shops for everyday wear is the smart way to go, they grow out of them so quick.

My daughter suffered from "head in rear" syndrome and thought she had to buy everything new, until she finally figured out that, 1.) She couldn't afford it, 2.) It was pointless as the boy grew out of them so quickly.

Finally she started shopping at the second hand shops and couldn't believe the quality of some of the clothes she was finding at a fraction of the cost. The light bulb came on at that point.
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Nailed it!!! Most infants don't wear an outfit more that maybe 3 times before they're outgrown! Very seldom is the time when infant clothes look anything other than brand new, I mean, what are they doing anyway??? Eatin, poopin, and sleepin!! Not exactly hard on clothes!!
 
Bad Sport said:
SSSHHHHHHH............. You weren't supposed to tell him that. :D
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I had guns of all kinds, hunting bows, on and off road motorcycles, and three or four cars until right about the second kid.
25 years later, and I'm finally recovering (kinda)
Plus one of ours had a nasty case of ADHD and was always breaking something (car windows, house windows, skylights, bedroom walls) or getting in fights.
Now he is one of the best kids a parent could want, but HOLY CRAP that 10 years sucked.

Sorry, but the truth hurts.:D
 
I was building cars in our home garage before we had kids, similar to what I'm doing now, only I was building them much faster. Pulling and swapping drivetrains, bodywork & paint, whatever...you name it, I did it.
Anyway, we get pregnant and I told my wife that I don't think I am going to be able to do this kind of work here at home with a newborn, and I didn't think I would be happy without a car.
She suggested that I buy a car that is finished, running and driving until the baby is a little older.
So, I finished and sold the car I was working on (1960 Chevy Belair, 355 4-speed, 12 bolt, teardrop hood etc. it was cool) and bought a stone stock red/black 72 Corvette coupe, 350 with a 4 speed. Had decent paint and interior, and 60,800 original miles. It was a numbers car and aside from one repaint it was all original.

I was able to satisfy my need to have an old car, and there was always something to tinker with on the Vette to keep me busy, but I didn't have to spray paint and pull engines. I had things I could do that were quiet as not to disturb the baby, and I wasn't spraying chemicals in the air.
Besides, when he would go down for a nap, I would roll the Stingray out of the garage and go for a cruise! :D
It was the best of both worlds, and worked out really well for us.
Now that little baby is a freshman in High School, and his little brother will be in Middle School starting fall of 2014. The time has gone by INCREDIBLY fast, and if there's ONE thing I would ask you to remember it would be this....ENJOY the baby. Enjoy every minute if him, even at 3:30 in the morning when he's crying and all you want to do is sleep, just enjoy it because before you even realize that he's getting bigger, he will have grown up and if you're not paying attention you will miss this once-in-a-lifetime experience.

You guys will be fine regardless of what your friends say, what your parents say, what BS you hear on TV or read in books. It's not easy being a parent, but it isn't rocket science, and you guys will do fine. Everyone has their own advice and that's fine, but there's more than one way to do this and as long as you guys use your heads, he will be fine.
Don't panic, just enjoy the experience, and that includes the pregnancy.

Best of Luck to you guys.

George
 
George R said:
The time has gone by INCREDIBLY fast, and if there's ONE thing I would ask you to remember it would be this....ENJOY the baby. Enjoy every minute if him, even at 3:30 in the morning when he's crying and all you want to do is sleep, just enjoy it because before you even realize that he's getting bigger, he will have grown up and if you're not paying attention you will miss this once-in-a-lifetime experience.

You guys will be fine regardless of what your friends say, what your parents say, what BS you hear on TV or read in books. It's not easy being a parent, but it isn't rocket science, and you guys will do fine. Everyone has their own advice and that's fine, but there's more than one way to do this and as long as you guys use your heads, he will be fine.
Don't panic, just enjoy the experience, and that includes the pregnancy.

Best of Luck to you guys.

George
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Right on George, Nailed it again!!!
 
Thanks for all the advice guys, I'm sure we'll be fine. Also, I can't wait 20-25 years to get back into my projects, so hopefully that doesn't happen lol. All well, we'll see. Yeasterday's history tomorrow's a mystery.
 
Never had kids myself but my stepdaughter Desiree is having twins in July...most of the time during her pregnancy she has remained her level headed self...but every now & then the hormones kick in and she starts wigging out. Ernestina does her best to calm her down but....hang in there.....
 
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