macadoo1961
Well-Known Member
Newfies declare war on the USA
>>
>>
>>
>> President George Bush was in the Oval Office wondering which country to
>> invade next, when his telephone rang.
>>
>> 'Hallo, President Bush' a heavily accented voice said. This is Archie, up
>> 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada eh? I am
>> callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on you eh!'
>>
>> 'Well Archie,' George replied, 'This is indeed important news! How big is
>> your army?'
>>
>> 'Right now,' said Archie, after a moments calculation 'there is myself,
>> me
>> cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbor Mick, and the whole dart team from
>> the
>> pub. That makes eight!'
>>
>> George paused.. 'I must tell you Archie, that I have one million men in
>> my
>> army waiting to move on my command.'
>>
>> 'Holy jeez,' said Archie. 'I'll have ta call ya back!'
>>
>> Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. 'Mr. Bush, the war is
>> still
>> on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!'
>>
>> 'And what equipment would that be Archie?', George asked.
>>
>> 'Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor.'
>>
>> President Bush sighed. 'I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks
>> and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to
>> one
>> and a half million since we last spoke.'
>>
>> 'Lard T'underin' Jaysus, bye', said Archie, 'I'll be getting back to ya.'
>>
>> Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. 'President Bush, the war is
>> still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified
>> Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four
>> byes from the Legion have joined us as well!'
>>
>> George was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. 'I must tell you
>> Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military
>> complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And
>> since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!'
>>
>> 'Jeysus, Mary and Joseph,' said Archie,'I'll have ta call youse back.'
>>
>> Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. 'President Bush! I am
>> sorry
>> to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war.'
>>
>> 'I'm sorry to hear that' said George. 'Why the sudden change of heart?'
>>
>> 'Well, sir,' said Archie, 'we've all sat ourselves down and had a long
>> chat
>> over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed
>> two million prisoners.'
>>
>> NEWFIE CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN!:cheers:
>>
>>
>
>
>>
>>
>>
>> President George Bush was in the Oval Office wondering which country to
>> invade next, when his telephone rang.
>>
>> 'Hallo, President Bush' a heavily accented voice said. This is Archie, up
>> 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada eh? I am
>> callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on you eh!'
>>
>> 'Well Archie,' George replied, 'This is indeed important news! How big is
>> your army?'
>>
>> 'Right now,' said Archie, after a moments calculation 'there is myself,
>> me
>> cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbor Mick, and the whole dart team from
>> the
>> pub. That makes eight!'
>>
>> George paused.. 'I must tell you Archie, that I have one million men in
>> my
>> army waiting to move on my command.'
>>
>> 'Holy jeez,' said Archie. 'I'll have ta call ya back!'
>>
>> Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. 'Mr. Bush, the war is
>> still
>> on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!'
>>
>> 'And what equipment would that be Archie?', George asked.
>>
>> 'Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor.'
>>
>> President Bush sighed. 'I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks
>> and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to
>> one
>> and a half million since we last spoke.'
>>
>> 'Lard T'underin' Jaysus, bye', said Archie, 'I'll be getting back to ya.'
>>
>> Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. 'President Bush, the war is
>> still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified
>> Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four
>> byes from the Legion have joined us as well!'
>>
>> George was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. 'I must tell you
>> Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military
>> complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And
>> since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!'
>>
>> 'Jeysus, Mary and Joseph,' said Archie,'I'll have ta call youse back.'
>>
>> Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. 'President Bush! I am
>> sorry
>> to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war.'
>>
>> 'I'm sorry to hear that' said George. 'Why the sudden change of heart?'
>>
>> 'Well, sir,' said Archie, 'we've all sat ourselves down and had a long
>> chat
>> over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed
>> two million prisoners.'
>>
>> NEWFIE CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN!:cheers:
>>
>>
>
>
