Rewarding experience.

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ramenth

ramenth

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About a month ago, my dad, 77, went in for back surgery.

Momma is pretty well gone with Alzheimer's. She can't feed herself, can't walk, has to wear adult diapers, etc.

Pop's been her sole caretaker for about the last five years and pretty much wants it that way. The rest of the family helps him out with other things, like gardens and mowing, household chores.

With him being limited after his surgery, my sister and her kids helped with Momma for the first week.

The next two weeks fell to me.

Y'all have heard the Biblical story of Christ washing the feet of the disciples. This is taken to extreme, having to clean, dress, bathe, feed your mom.

After all the years of sacrifice this woman made for her kids (four of us in total) it is truly touching and an honor to care for her in her twilight years.
 
My hat is off to you,as much as i would like to think i could do it, it would be difficult.

We just got home from helping mother in law last week, arranging things so she can stay in her apartment for a while longer. An alert system in case she has difficulty, prescription delivery and grocery delivery.
Also got a proper walker.spoke with the home care case worker, and lined up meal delivery too.
All these things,she couldnt do on her own,lots of running around to get things sorted.
Being two provinces away,its hard enough just getting there to visit.
Wife agreed we have to find a way to visit more often.
 
Take care of your parents.

I helped my dad take care of his mom, she was almost completely bed-ridden, did not require attention 24 hrs, but when she did it was a right now thing.
It about broke my dad, he actually retired at 62 just to take care of her.
She did pass away comfortably in her home in her sleep.

My wife's dad also got real bad and came to live with us, he could still get around good, but mentally he was not there.

I got sent on a business trip for work and received a call that he had passed.

I could not get home in time to help her, I felt awful, until my wife said he acted fine, they were sitting on the front porch talking, and he said he was tired and wanted to take a nap.
She went to his room to check on him to ask him what he wanted for dinner and he was gone.
 
I applaud your devotion and compassion. Ive been down this road. Seek some outside help. (Hospice) some respice of some sort. It can wear on you. The lord gives us ways to let us handle things like this.
You and your sister and her kids do not have to bare all of this burden. It can be a long haul. God bless you.
 
I agree Robert, it’s a very rewarding experience. This is coming for me as well, as my mother in law is slipping into the depths of Alzheimer’s, and we will probably be moving there to help her. We have lots of people who comment on how hard it must be to take care of Nella, and what great parents we are. Personally, I don’t feel that way....it’s not hard to take care of a person you love, and it is really a blessing, as you are finding out. I lived with my grandmother for years after my grandfather passed away, and it was the best thing I could have experienced. I learned so much that I wouldn’t have known, simply because I had time to spend with her every day, not just on infrequent visits.

As for being great parents to Nella, we do what we do because we are her parents and we love her, and I don’t feel special or somehow better than any other parent, who I assume would do the same as we do for her. Your mom gave her world for you brother, and it is a blessing to be able to repay that to her now!!
 
Stay the course Robert! Your a good man!.. My father passed away when I was 13. My brother, 3 yrs older, gave up on his aspiration of being a veterinarian because someone needed to go to work and pay the bills as mom was disabled and finances were extremely tight. He gave up a lot, his life long goal! I even went to work at 14. I would work in the summers and would hand over my checks to my mom. Because of my brother I was able to go to college and follow through with my career aspirations. When I was senior in college I was offered a full academic scholarship to George Washington Univ. for Forensic Science. Unfortunately I had to turn it down because it was now my turn to sacrifice and take care of my mother who was stricken with cancer. My brother had done a lot and I felt and knew it was my turn to really step up. He was able to move out and marry.
Being the provider/caretaker made me a better person and strengthened my bond with my mother. I put serious relationships on hold until she passed. No regrets. I just wish my mom was around to see the birth of my son. God has his way of repaying you for the care of one of his weakened children....For sacrificing a chance to be a vet , my brother now operates & owns a very successful MOPAR parts business for over 20years!
I look at my sacrifices as non-existent compared to others who sacrificed everything including their health or lives such as our war veterans that are coming back home with missing limbs and PTSD. God bless you brother!
 
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