Scottish Golfer

[gerrys]

[FONT=&quot]An 80-year-old Scotsman goes to the doctor for a check-up. [/FONT] [FONT=&quot]

The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, 'How do you stay in such great physical condition?'[/FONT] [FONT=&quot]

I'm Scottish and I am a golfer,' says the old guy, 'and that's why I'm in such good shape.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]I have a wee glass of whisky, and all is well.'

[/FONT] [FONT=&quot]'Well,' says the doctor, 'I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it.[/FONT][FONT=&quot]How old was your Dad when he died?'[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]'Who said my Dad's dead?'[/FONT] [FONT=&quot]

The doctor is amazed. 'You mean you're 80 years old and your Dad's still alive. How old is he?'[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]'He's 100 years old,' says the old Scottish golfer. 'In fact he golfed WI me this morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk and had anither wee dram and that's why he's still alive. He's Scottish and he's a golfer, too.'

[/FONT] [FONT=&quot]'Well,' the doctor says, 'that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. How about your Dad's dad? How old was he when he died?'

[/FONT] [FONT=&quot]'Who said my grandad's dead?'[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]Stunned, the doctor asks, 'You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! Incredible, how old is he?'[/FONT] [FONT=&quot]

'He's 118 years old,' says the old Scottish golfer.[/FONT] [FONT=&quot]

The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, 'So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?'[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]'No. Grandad couldnae go this mornin' because he's getting married today.'[/FONT] [FONT=&quot]

At this point the doctor is close to losing it. 'Getting married?? Why would a 118 year- old guy want to get married?'[/FONT]

[FONT=&quot]'Who said he wanted to?'[/FONT]

 

[FISHBREATH]

One morning, an 80 year old man awoke with an annoying drip. It went on for a while, so he decided to go to his doctor. After an examination, the doctor asked him, "Tell me. What did you do last night?"

The old man, slightly embarrassed, answered, "Doc, you know I have been somewhat lonely the past few years, so I decided to go out and enjoy the company of a woman."

"Hmmm," said the doctor with a concerned look on his face, "Do you have a way to contact the woman as soon as possible?"

The old man replied, "Sure doc, but is it serious?"

THe doctor answered, "It sure is, you're coming." :sign10: