Some groaners

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Mark Wainwright

FABO Gold Member
FABO Gold Member
Joined
Jan 4, 2017
Messages
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Location
Ontario Canada
Paradoxical Statements and Puns

1. The meaning of opaque is unclear.

2 I wasn't going to get a brain transplant but then I changed my mind.

3. Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.

4. A man tried to assault me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy!

5. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

6. If there was someone selling marijuana in our neighborhood, weed know
about it.

7. It's a lengthy article about ancient Japanese sword fighters but I can
Sumurais it for you.

8. It's not that the man couldn't juggle, he just didn't have the balls to
do it.

9. So what if I don't know the meaning of the word "apocalypse"? It"s not
the end of the world.

10. Police were called to the daycare center. A 3-year old was resisting a
rest.

11. The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice
jester.

12. Need an ark to save two of every animal? I Noah guy.

13. Alternative facts are aversion of the truth.

14. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

15. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

16. Did you know they won’t be making yardsticks any longer?

17. I used to be allergic to soap but I’m clean now.

18. The patron saint of poverty is St. Nickeless.

19. What did the man say when the bridge fell on him? The suspension is
killing me.

20. Do you have weight loss mantras? Fat chants!

21. My tailor is happy to make a new pair of pants for me. Or sew it seams.

22. What is a thesaurus's favorite dessert? Synonym buns...

23. A relief map shows where the restrooms are.

24. There was a big paddle sale at the boat store. It was quite an oar deal

25. How do they figure out the
per price of hammers? Per pound.
 
26. Where do kings keep their armies? In their sleevies

27. If your cold, you could go stand in the corner! Its 90 degrees

28. A termite walks into a bar and asks "Wheres the bar tender"
 
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