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How To Install A Home Security System, Southern Style
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and some back-issues of NRA magazine.
3. Put several giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines. Include a deer thigh-bone.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Hey Duke,
Big Jim, Slammer, Slim, and me went for more hollow-point ammo. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning and they messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it. Thank God! It was hard to tell, though from all the blood. Took Bobbi-Jo hours to clean up the sidewalk. Anyways, I locked all four of them dogs up in the house. Better wait outside. They're kinda spooked. We'll be right back.
Bubba
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and some back-issues of NRA magazine.
3. Put several giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines. Include a deer thigh-bone.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Hey Duke,
Big Jim, Slammer, Slim, and me went for more hollow-point ammo. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning and they messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it. Thank God! It was hard to tell, though from all the blood. Took Bobbi-Jo hours to clean up the sidewalk. Anyways, I locked all four of them dogs up in the house. Better wait outside. They're kinda spooked. We'll be right back.
Bubba
