Three Surgeons

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2shelbys

2shelbys

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Three Texas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing the most amazing surgeries they had performed.

One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Texas. In my favorite case, a concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England.

The second surgeon said, "That's nothing. A young man lost an arm and both legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in track and field events in the Olympics."

The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs". "Several years ago I had a woman who was high on cocaine and marijuana and she rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the woman's blonde hair and the horse's ***. I was able to put them together and now she's a senator from New York."
 
2shelbys said:
Three Texas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing the most amazing surgeries they had performed.

One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Texas. In my favorite case, a concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England.

The second surgeon said, "That's nothing. A young man lost an arm and both legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in track and field events in the Olympics."

The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs". "Several years ago I had a woman who was high on cocaine and marijuana and she rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the woman's blonde hair and the horse's ***. I was able to put them together and now she's a senator from New York."
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LOL :toothy7: :toothy7:
They say she still craves oats every morning still!! :thumbup:
 
Dear Abby:
My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating. Also, since he lost his job five years ago, he hasn't even looked for a new one. All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and bullshit with his buddies while I have to work to pay the bills. Since our daughter went away to college he doesn't even pretend to like me and hints that I may be a lesbian. What should I do?

Signed, Clueless

Dear Clueless:

Grow up and dump him. Good grief, woman. You don' t need him anymore. You're a United States Senator from New York. Act like one. :toothy7:
 
Them doc's is pretty educated and all but they don't seem to know the difference between a horse's rear and a jackass.

Those 2 were swingers in Little Rock. Ole perv says she is a lesbo because he was watching her suck a cigar and dip it again and again for flavor while he was getting serviced.
 
The Clintons have always had trouble. Bill needed to send someone to Kosovo to make an appearance for the U.S. and he told Hillary she was going to have to go. She said "no way! there are no good hotels or restaraunts, **** it isn't even safe there yet". Bill said "well you know what you can do to talk me into finding someone else". She said "no way, you know I don't do that for you anymore" so Bill said "well, have a good time over there". Hillary said "OK you bastard but this is the LAST time" and knelt down, but as soon as she started she jumped up and said "Damn Bill, that thing tastes like ****!" and Bill said "I know, Gore didn't want to go either".
 
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