I Love my Wife (or Husband)

No joke, no punch line, just heart-felt romance. Throughout the Joke threads, and even strewn throughout practically all categories within this Forum are degrading comments about the "old lady" (spouse in general). I feel badly for those trapped in a marriage that makes them unhappy. However, there are a few of us that made the most excellent choice in a mate, and years later are still madly in love. This thread is for US!! I'll start with my abbreviated story:

As a mechanic on December 27, 1994 (first day back to work after Christmas), I got my right index finger caught in a fan belt and almost lost it. At a minimum, I would have had to spend a year in physical therapy (after 2 surgeries) before being released to return to work. Instead I went to truck driving school to learn something I could do with a mangled finger.

There were 41 male and 3 female students at the school; 2 of the women were married. There was 1 personal vehicle for every 5-6 students (most took the bus). Whoever wrote the "Pre-Trip Inspection" list obviously did it on the fly (with no real logic or order in mind). Finally, not only was I a mechanic, but had previously driven a soda truck before the CDL was mandated.

I re-organized the Pre-Trip Inspection list to make it flow; left to right, top to bottom, inside to outside, etc. One of the instructors asked me to go through the Pre-Trip and was blown away when I got 114/115 of the items correct (this is about 1 week into the class). I was immediately promoted to "Student Mentor", coaching other students on the Pre-Trip Inspection. The only single woman was told to get with me to learn this danged Pre-Trip.

Although I found myself looking her way often, I convinced myself that I was there to get my CDL and get back to work. After all, she had her choice of not only 41 students, but virtually any heterosexual male she wanted (she was gorgeous, after all). When we had to get from the hotel to the school and back, students without vehicles had to make friends with students with vehicles (which I had--1970 Duster). She repeatedly asked me for a ride (later I found out because I treated her with respect). When the teachers provided a means for us to finally talk (I was that Pre-Trip mentor), I fell in love. I had a reason to talk to her (oh, and by the way, she was there to get her CDL to get on with life and hated the "attention" she got from fellow students). Within a week I knew I wanted to marry her!

We married on September 17, 1994; a mere 6 months after we started talking. Her father begged her to postpone the wedding for a year or 2 so we could get to know each other. Not a single member of my family attended our wedding (I'm Caucasian and her father is black, and my family had prejudices).

There have been challenges. We lost a baby in 2001 that drove us insane, tore us apart, and hurt more than most of you could ever know. Somehow we got through it -- and other life-challenges as well.

So this doesn't drag on with boring details, we are approaching 27 years together and are still as in love as we have ever been. Today, she has health issues; I have self-employment financial issues. The bottom line is we love each other and are still glad we married.

With that said, the floor is open for YOU to share YOUR love story.

Congrats

That is such a great story. U guys are very lucky to of found each other. Thanks for sharing ur story. Good luck the rest of ur way in ur journey of life. I salute u guys. Kim

I must confess, I saw a comment from another FABO member about his wife that prompted me to create this thread. I sincerely hope he finds this & shares his story.

My wife asked me on our first date! That's how I tell it anyway.

I was new in tow and had a fender bender in N.M. on the way to moving to her town in CA. I was in the military being stationed there. So, I go into where she worked which was one of those copy/fax/mailbox places so I could fax a lawyer back in N.M. working on my behalf for the accident.
I gave her the fax number and the paperwork and she told me to just leave my cell # and she would call when the reply came in. She called hours later to let me know there was no reply. I asked her what there was to do around this town while I waited and she said she could meet me for a cup of coffee. If you ask me, that's a date. She disagrees and says that since I asked her what ther was to do in this town, I asked her out. I never asked what is there that "WE" could do. However, I did propose on the 3rd date. I asked her to marry me as we were cuddling and she replied with something like," Yeah, I could see myself marrying you. How long do you think we should date first?". I told her that I didn't want to date her, I wanted to marry her. I just knew.
Whoever it was that suggested a first date we have been together 17 years, 5 deployments, Hurricane Katrina (destroyed our condo), a wildfire that burned 360 around our house and miraculously spared it, 2 awesome kids later.
I have acted like an idiot and she should have divorced me but she's a saint and I tell all of my young friends and coworkers the importance of finding a good woman and treating her right. There were times when I should have been kicked to the curb but she never gave up on me. We were both raised in households that saw no divorce and we made the decision that no matter what you don't call it quits.

We are at 20 (14 married plus 6 exclusivity).

We NEVER argue about what either did with money or what they do with their time.

Rule #1 for me from way back in my teen age years was "don't settle".

It literally took decades, but I finally found her.

Great story. Congratulations. Met my wife and was married in 6 months. It will be 18 years. She is the Best.

After she cooked dinner last night and then cleaned up, I unshackled my wife and gave her a thorough inspection.

Seriously this is a great thread and I have to think this one over.

allright, ill play (though she really tells the story better)


me and the wife "met" when we were both 17, on MSN chatroom
this was in the infant days of the internet, some 2 decades ago before people found out the potential for evil that the internet has (what i mean is, it was safer in those days)

we hit it off and talked for hours that first day
and just about every day after that
at some point she send me he phone number and after i figured out how to add the country code i was able to call her and proceeded to rack up 300 dollar monthly phone bills
(did i mention i was still living in the Netherlands at the time? she was obviously in the US)

at some point she invited me to come over for her high school graduation, and a few weeks later i bought a plane ticker and told her i was coming
as you can imagine, her parents were not happy with that news, but she found me a room we could rent for the few weeks i would be there and i just stayed there

neither one of us was looking for a mate, and honestly, we didnt really start "dating" until after we got married
we were pretty much best friends from them on, and travelled back and forth whenever we could

about a year of so later, we were hanging out in her parents basement, watching "nightmare on elm street" and eating some popcorn

we ran out of popcorn and she got up to make some more
then she mentioned how all of her credit cards were maxed out, and asked if i had any money left in savings
i said no, not really
as shes walking out to get more popcorn she says, well, this isnt gonna work, so we either need to get married or call it quits

she says that when she got back down with the popcorn my face was as white as the bowl the corn was in, but i made the right decision

so, we started the paperwork for me to come here and about 2 years later, at 21 we got married (first for the court, to keep the paperwork rolling, and then a month or two later for the Church)

thats been 16 years now, and like i said, we're doing more dating now then we did back then

whats kinda funny about the whole ordeal is how much her parents did NOT like me at first (cant blame em, i mean, she was the baby of the family and well, just look at how i looked back then)
but now, her mom lives with us and im pretty much the one who takes care of her

diymirage said:

allright, ill play (though she really tells the story better)


me and the wife "met" when we were both 17, on MSN chatroom
this was in the infant days of the internet, some 2 decades ago before people found out the potential for evil that the internet has (what i mean is, it was safer in those days)

we hit it off and talked for hours that first day
and just about every day after that
at some point she send me he phone number and after i figured out how to add the country code i was able to call her and proceeded to rack up 300 dollar monthly phone bills
(did i mention i was still living in the Netherlands at the time? she was obviously in the US)

at some point she invited me to come over for her high school graduation, and a few weeks later i bought a plane ticker and told her i was coming
as you can imagine, her parents were not happy with that news, but she found me a room we could rent for the few weeks i would be there and i just stayed there

neither one of us was looking for a mate, and honestly, we didnt really start "dating" until after we got married
we were pretty much best friends from them on, and travelled back and forth whenever we could

about a year of so later, we were hanging out in her parents basement, watching "nightmare on elm street" and eating some popcorn

we ran out of popcorn and she got up to make some more
then she mentioned how all of her credit cards were maxed out, and asked if i had any money left in savings
i said no, not really
as shes walking out to get more popcorn she says, well, this isnt gonna work, so we either need to get married or call it quits

she says that when she got back down with the popcorn my face was as white as the bowl the corn was in, but i made the right decision

so, we started the paperwork for me to come here and about 2 years later, at 21 we got married (first for the court, to keep the paperwork rolling, and then a month or two later for the Church)

thats been 16 years now, and like i said, we're doing more dating now then we did back then

whats kinda funny about the whole ordeal is how much her parents did NOT like me at first (cant blame em, i mean, she was the baby of the family and well, just look at how i looked back then)
but now, her mom lives with us and im pretty much the one who takes care of her

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That's a great picture and having met you, I have to admit you are a genuine person! BTW: I do still have that book and will get in the mail to you after Thanksgiving! Or, maybe just take a road trip to Holland to personally deliver it!

I knew I would marry my wife the moment I met her. When we met she was sitting in the passenger side of her friends car just sitting there as her friend was talking to somebody so, having huge balls and, aclot beers before hand I walked up, opened the door and got in the back seat of her friends car..( didn't know either one of them). We started hanging out but, she would not date me saying "I don't date people who drink like you do, in fact I have never met someone who drinks as much as you do." I told her i can be done with that. Next day I stopped drinking...a few weeks later she agreed to go out with me. We married 3 years later and though I do drink a little its not nearly what it used to be and, that's ok. It hasn't always been clowns and ice cream cones but, we are stronger now than ever. She's the best!!

pauly said:

That's a great picture and having met you, I have to admit you are a genuine person! BTW: I do still have that book and will get in the mail to you after Thanksgiving! Or, maybe just take a road trip to Holland to personally deliver it!

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thanks

i had allready forgotten about that book
but you're always welcome to swing by

I have actually influenced my wife to drink more.

She's even starting to build a tolerance.

(Although I enjoy her being a lightweight)

Neither of us has changed to try to please the other.

We are both "matter of fact" and "direct" personalities.

Neither tries to control what the other does.

You have to accept both of us for who we are.

YY1 said:

I have actually influenced my wife to drink more.

She's even starting to build a tolerance.

(Although I enjoy her being a lightweight)

Neither of us has changed to try to please the other.

We are both "matter of fact" and "direct" personalities.

Neither tries to control what the other does.

You have to accept both of us for who we are.

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I needed that change, I would probably be dead by now if I would have kept going the way I was going.

Our circumstances are a little odd. I worked with her first Husband. My first Wife and I hung out with them quite a bit. A few years later I was Divorced and Ray had died from Cancer. We lost track of each other for about 3 years but ran into each other at a local Bar. We talked and danced a little then went for a late night/early morning Breakfast. A couple days later she called to see how I was and we have been together for 38 Years now. We both feel we are Soul Mates and our Love runs deep. We still have pictures of him on display and I have no problem with it at all.

Not trying to hijack or derail his beautiful thread in anyway. But whats some of the best, solid advice you can give me when it comes to making a marriage work and most importantly last?

WTruo said:

Not trying to hijack or derail his beautiful thread in anyway. But whats some of the best, solid advice you can give me when it comes to making a marriage work and most importantly last?

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That is a 2 sided question really. If you want to be happy and make it last then, you really just need to be you and, be honest. If she/he can't accept you for you then it won't be a happy marriage but, you may be able to make it last. If he/she is the first person you want to share your day with and, you feel like has your back no matter what and, you can be your absolute self then it should be fine. People grow in different ways as they get older so, you really need to know thier core values as these shouldn't change that much as they age. IMO

When I hear most people say "I'm living the dream" most of the time it's with sarcasm. I'm not one of those.

I dated a girl when I was 17 and she was 15. She was my High School sweetheart. We broke up but I could never get over my feelings for her. She moved on and eventually so did I. I married the wrong girl for the right reasons and spent 27 years together trying to make her happy. Then one day I realized that was NEVER going to happen. I left her and gave her everything material we had built together.

I contacted my High School sweetheart who was single and laid it out there one more time "Don't you know I Love You?" We talked a lot about who we were and what we expected from each other and have been together for 5 years now.

There is not a day that goes by that I don't Thank GOD for giving me the courage to take a chance and find the girl of my dreams. We're both in our 50's and appreciate each other more than we ever would have when we were younger. I am living the dream, only my reality is better!!!

I learned that I could tell in about 3 weeks or less if a potential love interest was going to be worth pursuing.

If it feels at all wrong, it likely is.

...but you have to be aware of the potential to delude yourself because you want it to work.

WTruo said:

Not trying to hijack or derail his beautiful thread in anyway. But whats some of the best, solid advice you can give me when it comes to making a marriage work and most importantly last?

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Before we married we discussed what we wanted out of life, and a marriage. Furthermore, we established a few cardinal rules:
1 - NO CHEATING! Not to be tolerated!
2 - There will be disagreements. However, do not even try to discuss the issue until the anger has left (or at least subsided). Always work to a resolution. Pointing fingers and assigning guilt never fixes the problem, only viable solutions fix problems.
3 - Tell each other "I Love You" every day, and mean it.
4 - We try to do little things for each other, just to SHOW the 'I Love You' is genuine. For example, I make her coffee each morning, dressed with yummy stuff she likes. She has been working for several years on a knitted hoodie that has the Duster (with swirl) on the back. It's challenging, but she keeps at it...for me.
5 - Always speak positively about her (him) around others. If there are issues, it's nobody else's business. Other folks should only ever get the most dazzling impression of your spouse from you. (Say good things behind her back.)

Well, that's a start. I'm sure there's more, but these couple concepts have been Love Savers.

When I met my wife to be, she was 95 pounds and most of it was where my pecs are. That was mid December of 1975, so just coming 45 years ago. She was 19, to my 22.
Yeah yeah, along the way, I learned to love her other attributes too. And best of all, I can only remember two times, in all those years, having a disagreement. Neither of which ended badly. or even poorly. Of course them 95 pounds ain't where they used to be,nomore.... but then, neither are my pecs.....

Oh, and one more critically important rule:

6 - Whoever wants it more, wins. You want mint chocolate chip & she wants rocky road. Let her win. Memorize this phrase & practice it in front of the mirror: "Yea, you're probably right." No sense arguing over the name of the dog on Petty Coat Junction (unless you're using a precious "Call a Friend" on some TV game show).

WTruo said:

Not trying to hijack or derail his beautiful thread in anyway. But whats some of the best, solid advice you can give me when it comes to making a marriage work and most importantly last?

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Back in the day, I knew an awful lot of guys whose motivation with women was just to get laid. For me, a tip for long-term marriage was not so much finding someone to go to bed with - it was finding the right person to wake up to. Every day. I will give a +2 to the advice above, to be yourself and don't settle. Also, be willing to compromise.

My story. It took a long time for me to find a woman I wanted to be around long term. I didn't get married till I was 35. An acquaintance I knew only over the phone coordinating things between her company and mine asked me after hundreds of phone calls, if I was tall, dark, handsome, and over 50. Unfortunately I had to admit I was none of the above and nowhere near 50. She then said I should meet this friend of hers that was more my age, which I agreed to. That blind date turned into 22 years of excellent marriage. She was the right person for me and we were an item from the second date and married a year later. There was not one fight in the entire 22 years. All was well and we were making plans to grow old with each other on twin rocking chairs watching sunsets from the front porch. Sadly, cancer with its nasty claws showed up one day to take her away from me. A couple of rough years followed.

After healing up for a while, I decided I was ready to re-enter the dating pool. I dated a handful of gals, some for a while but nothing was really grabbing my attention. Then one day a former neighbor finds out I'm in between dates and absolutely insists I have to meet this friend of hers. The neighbor is a pretty solid screwball so I wasn't overly enthused at what this friend of hers would be like, but I agreed and met for coffee. And we hit it off immediately, by the second date we are an item and we've been together for going on five years. She is every bit the smartass I am with the same wildly uncensored sense of humor. She is the other half of me I didn't know I was missing till I met her.

As I tell folks all the time, most people never come close to winning the lottery, either for money or love. I won it twice, and consider myself the luckiest guy on the planet to have been so fortunate to have two magnificent women in my life.

What great stories you guys have. I really enjoy reading them and am amazed how similar they are to mine.
I was a know it all 21 year old without a clue and my 19 year old wife was still a girl and we were way to young to be married. We really struggled for 20 years but we stayed together through it all and our 41st anniversary was last month. Where does the time go?

I married my high school sweetheart and we were together 40 yrs until her passing. Went to a grief group and met a wonderful lady who lost her husband 3 days before my wife passed. We’re newlyweds being married 3 yrs now. It feels a bit odd but we each love two people