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No English dictionary has been able to adequately explain the difference between these two words. In a recent linguistic competition held in London and attended by, supposedly, the best in the world, Samdar Balgobin, a Guyanese man, was the clear winner with a standing ovation which lasted...

but the show was! Benny was the Burlesque King of the U.K.!

1.Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee. 2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. 3. Law of Probability- The probability of being...

A man doing market research for the Vaseline Company knocked at the door and was greeted by a young woman with three small children running around at her feet. "I'm doing some research for Vaseline. Have you ever used the product?" She said, "Yes. My husband and I use it...

This is a story of self control and marksmanship with an itsy bitsy shooter by a woman against a fierce predator. What is the smallest caliber you trust to protect yourself? The Beretta Jetfire: While out hiking in Alberta Canada with my husband we were...

but this one cracks me up!!!! Super Bowl 2015 Super Bowl XLIX Preview Funniest Superbowl Ads Wheat Thins Yeti Bigfoot Nightvision - YouTube

A man and a woman were sitting beside each otheri n the first class section of an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds. The man went back to his reading. A...

SIMPLE TRUTH 1 Lovers help each other undress before sex. However after sex, they always dress on their own. Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed. SIMPLE TRUTH 2 When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and say, "Congrats". But, none of...

Sam Kinison on Marriage and World Hunger - YouTube

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a HEMI powered Charger when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop. The surgeon was there, waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his car. The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey, Doc, can I ask...

A banker saw his old friend Tom, an eighty-year old rancher, in town. Tom had lost his wife a year or so before and rumor had it that he was marrying a 'mail order' bride. Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumor was true. Tom assured him that it was. The banker then...

:yawinkle:

Jawga Boyz - Ridin High - feat. Bottleneck (OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO) - YouTube

Several days ago as I left a meeting; I desperately gave myself a quick pat down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed...

Woman tazed at McDonald's drive thru TWICE!! - YouTube

Garage Door The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd...

I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the...

A group of 15-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Dairy Queen next to the Ocean View restaurant, because they had only $6.00 among them and Jimmy Johnson, the cute boy in Social Studies, lived on that street. 10 years later, the...

Now, Little Carol was a bit of a troublemaker. She had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Carol's mother asked her if she thought she deserved to get a bike for her birthday. Little Carol, of course, thought she did. Carol's mother, being a Christian woman, wanted her to reflect...

A man calls 911 and says “I think my wife is dead”. The operator says, “How do you know?” He says "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!” I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest ***** she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're...

An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of. He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head; he then followed me into my...

A new priest, born and raised in Texas, comes to serve in a city parish and is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the older priest to sit in on his...

An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night. The man replies, "I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late." The officer then asks, "Really...

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom closet. Then the woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in...

if a man speaks and no woman is around to hear him, is he still wrong???

The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper. St. Peter said, 'Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell...

this is cool as all get out!!! YouTube - ‪The Original Fast Volkswagen Belt Change.‬‏

It is with great enthusiasm we are announcing the release of the book "The man's guide to understanding women". Available in hardback or on 20 compact discs. Call to get a quote on shipping costs.

After being married for 50 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said ... "Fifty" years ago we had a cheap apartment, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watcheda 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 20-year-old girl. Now ... I have a $300,000.00...