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I was thinking, when the kids were here, the wife was the boss of the house. Nobody questioned her, she ran the show, and quite well I will add. Since the kids left and only her and I are here, the rules have changed a bit. When I'm not around, she is the boss. She can run things however she...

..... bet you do! WARNING FOR ALL MALES when buying a security device for a loved one. Last weekend I saw something at The Gun Show that sparked my interest. I was looking for a little something different for my wife Dana. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Tazer. The...

Canada Post has created a new stamp with a picture of Prime Minister Stephen Harper on it. The stamp is not sticking to envelopes. This has enraged the Prime Minister, who demanded a full investigation. After a month of testing and spending $4.1 million, a special commission has presented...

A bakery owner hires a young female shop assistant who liked to wear very short skirts and thong panties. One day a young man enters the store, glances at the shop assistant and at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing her short skirt and the...

A little Christmas history........ When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more. When...

Last week, she checked into a motel on her 70th birthday and she was a bit lonely. She thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages." She looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Tony - a...

What's in the Box? A little old lady went to the grocery store to buy cat food. She picked up four cans and took them to the checkout counter. The girl at the cash register said, "I'm sorry, but we cannot sell you cat food without proof that you have a...

This is a little old, but..... http://youtu.be/sHzdsFiBbFc

It's not whether you win or lose, but how you place the blame. You are not drunk, if you can lie on the floor without holding on. We have enough "youth". How about a fountain of "smart"?? The original "point & click" interface, was a Smith & Wesson! A fool and his money, can throw one...

1: You need glasses to find your glasses. 2: "Happy hour" means nap time. 3: Your children look middle aged. 4: The twinkle in your eye is from your bifocals. 5: Almost everything hurts, the parts that don't, don't work. 6: You are old enough to know better, but too old to care. 7:You have the...

At least I like it. http://enid.craigslist.org/cto/4119280944.html%3C/div%3E 1997 Jeep Cherokee (XJ) 220K Miles 4.0 L in-line 6 4WD AUTOMATIC Transmission Bright Red Straight Stock Crank Windows, no cruise, no tilt, no delay wiper, no nonsense POWER MIRRORS! Woo Hoo! $1750 Here's the...

A man walked into his crowded local bar, waved his 1911 Colt 45 around and yelled, "Who in here has been messing with my wife?" A voice from the back of the bar yelled back: "You're gonna need more ammo!" :D

Most people today think it improper to discipline children, so I have tried other methods to control kids when they have had one of 'those moments.' Since I'm a pilot, one method that I have found very effective is for me to just take the child for a short flight during which I...

Sorry that password has expired- you must register a new one. Did anyone discover that password and hack my computer? No, but your password has expired- you must get a new one. Why then do I need a new one as that one seems to be working pretty well? Well, you must get a...

Cool old Dodge car video.... <iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/nq2jY1trxqg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe> http://youtu.be/nq2jY1trxqg

Angus Broon of Glasgow , Scotland ,comes to the little lady of the house exclaiming, "Maggie, cud ya be sewin on a wee button that's come off of me fly? I can't button me pants." "Oh Angus, I've got me hands in the dishpan, go up the stairs and see if Mrs...

Another Government Study Provides outstanding Results C.S.I.R.O. Officials of Australia admitted that they found about 200 dead crows on the highway between Noonamah and Palmerston, in Northern Territory, where there was concern that...

Paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to re-frame or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic...

I really need your advice on a serious problem: I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs: If the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up; she goes out with the girls a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home but I...

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, 'Hello.' 'Mrs. Smith, please.' 'Speaking.' 'Mrs. Smith, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Smith arrived as well. We are now uncertain...

......:wack:

Stephen Harper was looking for a call girl. He found three such girls in a local pub, a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. To the blonde he said, 'I am the Prime Minister of Canada. Now how much would it cost me to spend some time with you?' She replied, '$200.' To the brunette...

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the road-side eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate. He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?" "We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat...

You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home available for you. So what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are allowed to shoot four Politicians. Of course, this means you will be sent to prison where you will get...

Can you cry under water? How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to? Why does a round pizza come in a...

It appears the human mind is very good at deciphering! :D

WHY MEN ARE SELDOM DEPRESSED Men Are Just Happier People -- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves...

A guy is sitting at home alone when he hears a knock on the front door. There are two sheriff's deputies there, so he asks if there is a problem. One of the deputies asks if he is married, and if so, could he see a picture of his wife. The guy says 'sure' and shows him a picture of his wife. The...

EMPLOYEE NOTICE ************************** Due to the current financial situation, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 55 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and...

A Ukrainian walked into a bank in Toronto and asked for the loan officer.He told the loan officer that he was going to Kiev on business for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000 and that he was not a depositor at the bank.The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security...