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My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his f***ing forehead. Maybe next time...

THE DIFFERENCE IF YOU MARRY A PENNSYLVANIA GIRL The first man married a woman from North Carolina. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning.. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away. The second man...

This song has been stuck in my head from doing some e-baying. Thought I would share it with those who haven't heard it.8) Weird Al is great! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYokLWfqbaU

The other pirate joke made me think of this one. What do a blonde and a pirate have in common? . . . . . . . . . . A black patch. :pirate:

This was sent to me and I thought it was funny.:cheers: He deserves what he gets. :angry7: Q: What is the difference between a golf ball and a car? A: Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball 400 yards. Q: What does Tiger Woods and a baby seal have in common? A: They are both clubbed...

Someone sent this to me and I thought I would share. I must be a redneck. :cheers: You might be a redneck if: It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, 'One nation, under God.' You might be a redneck if: You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public...

Just think.......... If the Indians had given the Pilgrims a donkey instead of a turkey, we would all be having a piece of a$$ this Thanksgiving!!.. 2 more weeks untill my favorite holiday. :supz:

1. Talk about a huge breast! 2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist. 3. It's Cool Whip time! 4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst! 5. Whew, that's one terrific spread! 6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat. 7. Are you ready for seconds yet? 8. It's a little dry; do you...

What is the difference between a French kiss and an Australian kiss? 8) Its the same thing, except one is down under. =P~

How do you get five pounds of fat to look attractive? Put a nipple on it. =P~

Has anybody seen his show live? Got turned on to this guy about 4 or 5 years ago. I have never seen him live though. Great voice and funny stuff. Not good if you are offended buy profanity or religious humor. His side kick Mark Tiech went on to do some Subway commercials. Here are some...

One day an Irishman, who had been stranded on a deserted island for more than 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, "It'scertainly not a ship." And, as the speck got closer and closer, he beganto rule out the possibilities of a small boat and even a raft.Suddenly there...

A man kills a dear and takes it home for dinner. Both he and his wife decide they wont tell the kids what kind of meat it is but will give them a clue and let them guess. The kids were eager to know what kind of meat was on the plates, so they begged ther dad for a clue. Well he said, 'it's what...