12 Dad jokes

[joel d. snyder]

Close to a drum roll but not quite.

i don't write them, just passing them on. 1. what is more impressive than a talking parrot? a spelling bee. 2. how did the cat keep his grass trimmed? with a lawn meower.

 

[joel d. snyder]

and now for today's installment......1. why do dogs make terrible dancing partners? because they have two left feet. 2. how do you know when it's too cold for a picnic? you chip your tooth on your soup.

 

[Ahoey]

and now for today's installment......1. why do dogs make terrible dancing partners? because they have two left feet. 2. how do you know when it's too cold for a picnic? you chip your tooth on your soup.

Useful info

 

[Yunick13]

 

[joel d. snyder]

good to see another participant. today's installment - brought to you by absolutely nobody .....1. my grandfather has the heart of a lion.....and a lifetime ban from the zoo. 2. what happened when the snowgirl fell out with the snowboy? she gave him the cold shoulder.

 

[joel d. snyder]

hello from the cheap seats....1. what is a flea's favorite way to travel? itch hiking. 2. how do you track will smith in the snow? you follow the fresh prints.

 

[joel d. snyder]

1. how much room is needed for fungi to grow? as mushroom as possible. and everybody knows this one : 2. why are there gates around cemeteries? because people are dying to get in.

 

[joel d. snyder]

for all my loyal listeners......1. i saw an add saying "radio for sale.volume stuck on full." and thought to myself " i can't turn that down." 2. what goes " woof woof tick tick "? a watchdog.

 

[diymirage]

for all my loyal listeners......1. i saw an add saying "radio for sale.volume stuck on full." and thought to myself " i can't turn that down." 2. what goes " woof woof tick tick "? a watchdog.

the watchdog reminds me of this joke

 

[Ahoey]

the watchdog reminds me of this joke

View attachment 1716356728

Sorry just bad

 

[joel d. snyder]

ok, here we go.....1. why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach? because they might peel. 2. why did the teddy bear skip her lunch? because she was stuffed.

 

[diymirage]

Sorry just bad

Dad joke, bad joke, same difference

 

[Yunick13]

 

[Yunick13]

 

[joel d. snyder]

greetings, earthlings......1. what do you get from a pampered cow? spoiled milk. 2. did you hear the story about the claustrophobic astronaut? he just needed some space.

 

[joel d. snyder]

yay! it's friday......1.what is a dog's favorite vegetable? collie-flower. 2. where does the electric cord go to shop? an outlet mall.

 

[Ahoey]

What time do ducks wake up?
At the quack of dawn.
What does every birthday end with?
The letter Y

 

[Yunick13]

Helium atom and a Hydrogen atom are sitting at a bar getting ripped.
The Hydrogen atom gets up to take a leak and upon his return he is patting his pockets and says, "Dude, I think I lost an electron!"

The Helium atom says, "Oh man, that sucks. Are you sure?"

The Hydrogen atom says, "Yeah, I'm positive."

 

[Yunick13]

//A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender for a drink. When
it's served, he asks how much it will be.

"For you," the bartender answers, "no charge."

 

[Yunick13]

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar....

You would think that at least one of them would have seen it!

 

[Yunick13]

know what you get if you cross a hillbilly and a goat? a weed eater that won't work..

 

[Yunick13]

Know what you get if you cross Arnold Schwarzenegger with a Jew? Conan the wholesale distributor

 

[Yunick13]

difference between a condom and a coffin? both of them have stiffs in them..but one is coming...the other is going.

 

[Yunick13]

you know the difference between a woman and a computer? computer will accept a 3 1/2" floppy

 

[Ahoey]

For all the good jokes