A couple of laughs

[Mark Wainwright]

A bachelor who had forgotten the dates for a number of his friends' and relatives' birthdays and anniversaries, decided to compile a list on the computer and have the dates highlighted on screen when the computer was turned on.

He went to a number of computer stores to find a software program that would do the job but had no luck at the first few. Finally, he found one where the clerk seemed experienced.

"Can you recommend something that will remind me of birthdays and anniversaries?" the guy asked.

"Have you tried a wife?" the clerk responded.


A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions a problem he has having getting a close shave around the cheeks.

"I have just the thing," says the barber, taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum."

The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech, "And what if I swallow it?"

"No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."

 

[grampyjay]

A couple had been out to dinner to celebrate their 45th anniversary, and the following evening were getting together with their friends. While the wives were in the kitchen the men were setting up the card table, and the first man said " You guys should try that restaurant we went to last night. Good food, fair prices, and all in all a nice place" His friend asked, "What is the name of it?" Well, he thought and thought and finally asked his friend, "What is the name of that pretty flower with the soft petals and the thorns?" His friend replied, "You mean a rose?" "Yeah! That's it! Hey Rose! What was the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"

 

[diymirage]

A couple had been out to dinner to celebrate their 45th anniversary, and the following evening were getting together with their friends. While the wives were in the kitchen the men were setting up the card table, and the first man said " You guys should try that restaurant we went to last night. Good food, fair prices, and all in all a nice place" His friend asked, "What is the name of it?" Well, he thought and thought and finally asked his friend, "What is the name of that pretty flower with the soft petals and the thorns?" His friend replied, "You mean a rose?" "Yeah! That's it! Hey Rose! What was the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"

they way i heard (and since always tell it myself) is as follows


the other day we had dinner with an older couple from church
of course me and my wife were very excited because anytime you get to be around Godly older people there is a lot of wisdom to be gleamed.
dinner was great, that lady could cook. of course conversation was great too and we learned alot, but what really blew me away was the fact that Mike (the husband) kept referring to Marge (his wife) with terms of endearment, it was always "honey" "dear" "love" and each time he did i could see my wifes eyes light up as she saw how this old couple managed to keep their love so fresh

so after dinner, the ladies both got up to clear the table and prepare some coffee and this gave me a few moments to speak with Mike alone and i expressed how impressed i was that he still referred to her as "my love" and "snookems" and such

he got a little glint in his eyes as he looked over his shoulder to the kitchen where the women were
then he leaned in across the table and said "to be honest sonny, i forgot her name somehwere around '94, '95"