A Joke for some folks here

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memike

memike

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A commercial jet is making its final approach to Tampa.
The pilot comes on the intercom... "This is your Captain. We're on our final descent into Tampa. I want to thank you for flying with us today and hope you enjoy your stay in the Tampa Bay area".

He forgets to switch off the intercom. Now the whole plane can hear his conversation from the cockpit.

The copilot can be heard saying to the pilot, "So, Skip, whatcha got planned while we're in Tampa?"

"Well," says the Captain, "First I'm gonna check into the hotel and take a huge crap. Then I'm gonna take that new stewardess with the huge tits out to dinner. I'm gonna wine and dine her, then take her back to my room and give her a ride on the baloney pony all night long ."

Aghast and amused, everyone on the plane hears the exchange. They all begin looking up and down the aisle, trying to figure out who this new stewardess is the pilot is talking about.

Meanwhile, the new stewardess is seated at the very back of the plane. She is so embarrassed that she starts running toward the front of the aircraft to turn the intercom off. Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady's bag, and down she goes.

The old lady leans over and says, "No need to hurry, dear. He's gotta land the plane and take a crap first.":toothy10:
 
Grandma and Grandpa were driving from the state of Washington to Florida to attend their granddaughter's graduation from medical school. Halfway through their trip, they stopped to visit one of their sons In Kansas for a night.
Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in the Medicine cabinet. He asked his son about using one of the pills.

The son said, "I don't think you should take one Dad, they're very strong and very expensive." "How much?" asked Grandpa. "Around $10.00 a pill," answered the son. "I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, we'll be leaving early in the morning, so I'll put the money under the pillow."

Later the next morning, the son found $110.00 under the pillow. He immediately called Grandpa on his cell phone and said, "I told you each pill was $10.00, not $110.00.." "I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma."
 
One Monday morning the UPS man is driving the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he notices that both cars are in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Jim, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles.
'Wow Jim, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night,' the UPS man comments.

Jim, in obvious pain, replies 'Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first time I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild.'

'Hell, we all got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I?'

The UPS man thinks a moment and says, 'How do you play WHO AM I?'

'Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us and with only our 'privates' showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is.'

The UPS man laughs and says, 'Damn, I'm sorry I missed that.'

'Probably a good thing you did,' Jim responded. 'Your name came up seven times.":toothy10:
 
LOL Ture story... Neighbor asked, "you have another Viagra you'll give me ?" I said, "Only one left and I think I'll keep it... 'till Valentines Day anyway."
He says , "Just as well then. I've never taken but 2 and both gave me a throbbing headache."
My reply, "That's cause you're a dickhead neighbor."
 
RedFish said:
LOL Ture story... Neighbor asked, "you have another Viagra you'll give me ?" I said, "Only one left and I think I'll keep it... 'till Valentines Day anyway."
He says , "Just as well then. I've never taken but 2 and both gave me a throbbing headache."
My reply, "That's cause you're a dickhead neighbor."
Click to expand...

Your to funny redFish:toothy10:
 
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