After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me,' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too'
And then the fight started.....
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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'Wow!' Says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started.....
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My wife was standing naked, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I paused and reflected a moment, and then replied, 'Well, your eyesight's darn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.....
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me,' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too'
And then the fight started.....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'Wow!' Says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started.....
- -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My wife was standing naked, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
I paused and reflected a moment, and then replied, 'Well, your eyesight's darn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.....
