Be Stong Hunny I love you

[memike]

Hope everyone that is at work enjoys this joke. :lurk:

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While
tying the girl to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her neck and then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably has spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey, I love you."
The wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he was gay, thought that you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey! I love you too!"

 

[onehellofadart]

Rofl!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Rob]

Good one Mike, as long as I don't think to much about it. :laughing: ale:

 

[Cerwin]

AHHHAVHAVHAVH ABDJVBVAHAHAAHAHA..

ouch.. my side hurts... [...deep breath..]

BAAA AHAHAHAHa

Mike thats disturbing...


But do you know how you can tell if your buddies GF is a freak nasty??

Go into his bathroom and look into his vaseline jar. if you can clearly see a 3 finger scoop.. apposed to the single finger dip.. then you know!

 

[GoodysGotaCuda]

lol!

 

[memike]

just one more for the wife or girl frend
CIA ApplicationAugust 24, 2006 at 9:00 pm ·

A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there’s a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered for the position. After sending some applicants through the background checks, training and testing, they narrowed the possible choices down to two men and a woman, but only one position was available.

The day came for the final test to see which peson would get the extremely secretive job. The CIA men administering the test took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. “We must know that you will follow our instructions whatever the circumstances,” they explained. “Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her.” The man looked horrified and said, “You can’t be serious! I could never shoot my wife!” “Well,” said the CIA man, “you’re definitely not the right man for this job then.”

So they brought the second man to the same door and handed him a gun. “We must know that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances,” they explained to the second man. “Inside you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her.” The second man looked a bit shocked, but nevertheless took the gun and went in the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes; then the door opened. The man came out of the room with tears in his eyes. “I tried to shoot her; I just couldn’t pull the trigger and shoot my wife. I guess I’m not the right man for the job.”

“No,” the CIA man replied, “You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.”

Now they only had the woman left to test. They led her to the same door to the same room and handed her the same gun. “We must be sure that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances; this is your final test. Inside you will find your husband sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill him.” The woman took the gun and opened the door. Before the door even closed all the way, the CIA men heard the gun start firing, one shot after another for 13 shots. Then all hell broke loose in the room. They heard screaming, rashing, and banging on the walls. This went on for several minutes; then all went quiet.

The door opened slowly, and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, “You guys didn’t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. I had to beat the son of a ***** to death with the chair!”